Wounded Heart
by artemis-3394
Summary: When a young, exile shapeshifter finds the man of her dreams, will love be enough to make her realize her true power? Or will their hearts end broken in a beautiful disaster...?  Rated M for language and chapters to come! R&R please! :D
1. Chapter 1

It's funny how disaster has always possessed the ability to draw in more eyes than any other attraction. Two people could be having sex in the middle of the street and still, one would be more likely to stare at the ten man brawl going on in the opposite direction. No, it's not because that one is overly morbid, or cynical, it is the simple fact that pain is beautiful. The way a face can contort into such visions of anguish and loss, the way a body can writhe and toss as a heart struggles to beat one last time. Of course, these are all terrible things, and yet they draw the eye like flies to honey.

Maybe that's why I stopped that morning in the woods when I should have just kept walking, but that was me, always in the wrong place at the wrong time. I knew I should have just ignored the sweet, succulent scent of blood in the air and continued on my way, but it was too much for me and I lost control. That's saying a lot since I've never lost control once in my life. Ever since childhood, I've always had perfect control over my shifting and muscle function, as well as my attitude though sometimes I'm a little brutal with my sarcasm. But I had to be that way, because I grew up alone. Always living on the fringes of society, never having a family or friends. Don't get me wrong, I love my life, but sometimes I just wish that for whatever reason my family left me… That they hadn't… But that's the past and there's no use in wishing for something that will never come true. Better to move on and forget, always moving forward never back.

That was my motto, until the day I saw his face and then everything changed. The world could have stopped turning or collapsed in on itself and I wouldn't have notice, that's how completely he captured my attention. It was as if there had been a spell thrown over me from which I couldn't escape, but for some reason I didn't want to. Whether or not I was right or foolishly, foolishly wrong then I can't say for sure. All I knew was that I had to get closer to him; I had to touch him and feel the rolling twist of his muscles under my hand. Since the day I turned twenty, since the day I saw his face, this had been my goal. To meet him, to talk to him, and someday to make him love me if only a fraction of the amount that I loved him. If only I could have known the disasters I would entice, the beautiful agony I would place on the visage I loved so absolutely. If only there could have been some warning before I destroyed his heart and mine along with it. But no, I was doomed from the start… Utterly, wholly, and marvelously doomed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One

Snow. It covered the ground like a blanket of purity and innocence, and as I walked my paws left nasty scars in the fluffy covering. I felt evil in that moment. Who was I to ruin such a beautiful miracle? Even the squirrels seemed to curse my name with their incessant bickering. But those thoughts were quickly shoved out of my mind with a sudden, sharp pain that came from just below my diaphragm. I was so hungry. The bones in my ribs and hips jutted out from my sides and with every step my muscles grew weaker. _How much..longer can…I last like this?_ Even my thoughts came with difficulty.

Hunger was familiar to me. My meals had always been few and far between but now, I couldn't even remember the last time I had eaten. Maybe that was just my own weakness, but I wasn't for sure. Either way, malnutrition was starting to set in and I didn't even have the strength to hunt._ Doomed…_ The word echoed in the back of my mind as I struggled to keep moving, not thinking about how more movement meant I would use even more of my precious energy.

As my weary paws carried me closer and closer to my inevitable death, a sweet familiar scent wafted across my nose. My mouth was instantly began watering and my legs trembled with anticipation. My pace increased as I hurried toward that deliciously sweet smell. Time passed without my knowing, it seemed like a year and yet only seconds until I reached my goal: a small clearing in the forest I was wandering through, and directly in the middle laid a fresh kill. Normally, I would have been more cautious before approaching such a noticeable trap, but hunger had dulled my instincts and to tell the truth I really didn't care. I tripped twice before half running, half lurching to a stop in front of the torn carcass. A doe, lying on her side with a slit from the middle of her chin all the way down to between her hind legs. A few of the entrails had been dug out and there were fresh foot prints in the snow around the dead female. Whoever had made this kill was gone for a moment and would soon be back, if I was going to eat I needed to do so quickly. So, without another moment of hesitation, I dug in. My head was buried in the warm, bloody belly of the doe, her blood and flesh spilling into my mouth as I expertly sliced with my teeth and with a jerk, I yanked out a chunk of rib meat that was twice the size of my head. There, I had my meal and now I could escape without harm. But my legs were shaking visibly now, no longer from blood lust but now from exhaustion. No, I had no time to run, I needed nourishment **now**.

The chunk of meat fell with a whispered thud in the snow as I flopped onto my belly. I had managed to crawl behind a tree and therefore find some sort of cover before I gorged myself, but I knew that if the hunter came back it wouldn't be enough. With a snap, a large hunk of thick juicy muscle tore away and slid whole down my throat. My hunger pain subsided, only by a small amount, but the relief was amazing. I scarffed down bite after bite, never slowing until the large amount of muscle was completely gone. Even then, I licked the snow until the blood was gone from it was well. My ribs were hidden a little bit more and there may have been a lesser extension of my hips away from my body, but I would need many, many more meals until I would reach the strength I once had.

With a groan, I pushed myself back onto my aching paws. Like smoke, I drifted deeper into the trees, my paws like smoke floating over the ground. Like a ghost, I flowed through the trees, seeming to disappear the farther into the forest I went. This was easy to me though, vanishing without any trace that I had existed at all. It was how I had trained myself to survive. When you grow up alone, its better that nothing knows you exist. Especially when you aren't the biggest thing in the forest. I was little more than a ghost, no, the whisper of a ghost. Or so I thought…

It wasn't long before I felt that tingling on the back of my neck I got when someone is watching me. My ears pricked and flattened, then pricked again, I was nervous and unsure. If it came down to it, I still didn't have the strength needed to fight off a larger predator or even another wolf. I was completely vulnerable with the only thing to serve as hiding places the large girths of the pine trees around me. But that also worked both ways, while they helped to hide me they also helped to hide my stalker. A low whine escaped my throat and I quickened my pace, knowing that if I could just reach my den I would be safe. Steady foot falls came from behind me, keeping pace with me as I trotted through the trees. Fear urged me into a lope, and my follower too sped up. My blood was pumping, my heart racing, and the whole time I never once looked back. _Don't stop, just keep running. Never look back, just move forward as fast as you can._ I prayed that would be enough to save me from whatever danger lurked in my shadow. But as I rushed toward my home, I could feel my steps slowing until once again my pace returned to a lurching walk.

My follower was closing in as my den came into view and I realized something terrible: with my stalker this close, there was no way I could escape into the cool darkness of my den. The fear I'd been feeling throughout my entire flight catapulted into undiluted terror.

Snow flew about my paws as I skidded to a halt and spun around, a snarl on my muzzle. If I was going to die, then I would face my killer with pride. If only I had been ready for what I would see…..


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Two

The cold wind stung on Simon's face and he pulled his fur lined cloak tighter around his body. Winter was cruel this year, its bitter sting nipping at any bit of uncovered skin and freezing it painfully. A shiver traveled down the young man's spine as he stooped to examine another trap; like all the others he had set two days before, this one had been cut cleanly through. With an angry growl, he slung the small trip wire to the ground, a cloud of snow puffing up where it landed. Falling down into the snow, he rubbed his head with irritation. He just couldn't understand who would be cutting his wires, or how. As far as he knew there wasn't any body else out here except for his village, and none of them would dare lessen the food supply as scarce as it was in the winter. But knowing it wasn't the villagers didn't make the problem go away. It was still his job to bring back meat for the people and if things continued as they were now that wasn't going to happen.

Simon sat there in the snow for what must have been forever, thinking and dreading about walking back into the village empty handed. He imagined the utter disappointment on his father's face and the small sympathetic smile of his mother, the contempt on the visage of his brothers, and the shock mixed with complete sorrow of everyone else. He had been given one simple task and he had failed. A tormented groan escaped the young man's clenched jaw. How could he have fallen short so completely? _Why am I such a failure?_ Twisting to fall face down in the snow, Simon beat his fist savagely into the powdery snow, screaming into the cold stuff. _Why? Why? Why? Why?_ The word just kept repeating in his head, with every scream another repetition. And no answer came. Finally, he had screamed and thrashed himself into exhaustion. His voice was hoarse, his fist frozen and throbbing, and he felt totally defeated. With a ragged sigh, he pushed himself to his feet and began to walk back towards his village.

As he walked, the images of his family and the other villagers once again flowed through his mind. The way they would all gather excitedly at the gates and then disperse slowly muttering phrases of disappointment and holding their aching bellies sadly. Of all the people in the village he had been chosen, and now he would let them all down. A wretched feeling settled in the pit of his gut and he had to stop just to keep from retching in his absolute shame. When Simon was able to look back up from the ground without the world reeling around him, he continued on his way home.

The world seemed a darker place to him somehow. The sunlight's rays didn't quite reach him through the reaching fingers of the trees surrounding him. _I wonder if anyone would miss me if I just didn't come back…_ The young man sighed, a tired broken sound. Of course his family would wonder, at least for a little while, but then they would move on. After all, they lived so close to the Forest that people disappeared into them all the time, never to be seen again. Their bodies were left to decay amongst the trees with all sorts of animals scavenging over their carcasses. Wait: scavengers… _Scavengers! _Of course! He could find the body of a dead animal and leave it out and kill whatever came to feed on it! With a victorious leap and crow, he turned around and ran as fast the knee-high snow would allow until he reached the last trip wire that had been cut. He examined it carefully; it was definitely from a knife. So that meant someone was probably keeping him from hunting here because they also needed the game that roamed around here. Well, he would apologize later… Maybe. Oh well, Simon didn't have time to think about anyone else, he needed to take care of himself and his village. He needed to make his father proud.

The young man set out again, pulling his bow from his back as he walked, knocking an arrow as well. He would be ready if anything crossed his path. He had walked almost to the center of the forest when he saw a tell-tale mound in the white snow. Quickly making his way over to it, Simon fell on his knees and gently placed his bow and arrow aside before laying his quiver beside them and then starting on digging down to whatever had been buried by the weather. A few minutes of shoveling, and his hand hit the frozen carcass of a deer. He grabbed hold on one of the slender legs and gave a great pull, a popping noise coming as the body was released from its tomb. Simon fell back hard on the snow with the deer's release and he gave a guttural grunt as he connected with the ground. The pain didn't register with him, however, as he had just found his ticket to a meal. A wide smile spread over his mouth as he stood drug the doe away from where it had been laying. He realized that one side of it had begun to rot away, but that wouldn't stop any hungry animal from gorging on the still pink flesh.

Simon left the deer briefly and walked the few feet to collapse the doe's previous encasement of snow and ice, scuffling his feet through it until it looked a little less noticeable. _Oh well, hopefully there'll be enough time for the snow to cover it up…_ Stumbling back to the carcass, the young hunter made a cut from the base of the chin to the 'Y' of her legs. There wasn't much blood left, and most of what was had already been frozen by the extreme cold, however, there was still some of the precious scarlet liquid left that he drenched over his hands to scatter it about the body. It didn't look like an animal kill, but hopefully that wouldn't stop the animals in that part of the Forest. Quickly, he scanned the trees to find one that was a suitable hiding spot, nimbly climbing up into the branches to perch there like a large, oddly limbed bird. Then all that was left to do was wait.

And wait…

And wait…

And wait some more…

He was just about to turn back when there came a rustling from the surrounding brush. Simon's eyes widened though he hardly dared to hope. His breath caught in his throat when it finally bounded from the bushes. The wolf was beautiful, a female in her prime. Bright amber flames glowed out of her skull, black fur covered her entire figure giving her a warm cloak to block out the winter. Her ribs showed and the bones of her hips were clearly visible, but her muscles were still strong moved with the efficiency of a machine. For a brief moment, a twinge of pain crossed Simon's thoughts, but he quickly shoved it away knowing that he didn't have a choice in this matter. So, once again, he waited. This time it only took about ten minutes before the wolf had pulled out some meat, eaten it, and turned to trot away into the forest. Once she was far enough away, Simon allowed himself to drop from the tree. His landing being muffled by the snow, he was able to stealthily follow after her.

They had traveled what Simon measure at about a quarter of a mile when the she-wolf realized she was being followed. Her pace quickened, forcing the young hunter to speed up as well. They went at a jog for quite a while, so long the young man lost track. But for some reason, the female wolf slowed to a trot again, an odd desperation in the way she traveled on. Suddenly, she completely stopped. Snow flew up around her paws as she twirled around and snarled viciously. At about the same time, Simon realized he was in plain sight. _Her_ sight. Their eyes locked and he knew this wolf would fight him, she would force him to kill her or force him to run away empty handed. Either way, he had enticed her wrath and now he had no choice but to face the consequences of his actions. For a brief moment, he wondered if this had been worth it. Sure now that he saw the wolf up close, he could se her obvious largeness. She was much larger than the average wolf, even as scrawny as she was. Still, had hunting this particular animal been the right choice after all?

Simon didn't have time to think because at that moment, the beast lunged for him. His throat to be more exact. The young man brought up his hand out of instinct, yanking a foot long dagger out of a sheath at his hip as he did so. The creature let out an agonized yelp as the knife sliced through her shoulder. Almost instantly, blood began to stream down her left foreleg, leaving a crimson streak in her black fur and staining the snow where she fell. There was another yelp as the she-wolf connected with the ground, the snow apparently not being enough to cushion her wounded shoulder. She gave one attempt at standing, her legs trembling with the effort. In the end, her left foreleg gave out and she once again fell to the snow, a wheezing pant coming from her open muzzle. Simon stood there shocked for a moment, watching the animal struggle to survive. She had so much fight, even though the she-wolf must know she was beaten, she still desperately tried to stand.

With a sudden reverence, Simon knelt and crawled to the wolf's side. She had been a worthy opponent; she deserved to die with pride. The wolf simply laid there as he drew nearer and nearer to her, if anything she might have calmed some. The snow around her was turning red as she was lying on her wounded side, but it seemed that the pain was receding along with the glaze forming over her eyes. Darkness would take her soon. Simon, ever so lightly, placed his hand on the wolf's unhurt shoulder, surprised that her only sign of acknowledgement was a dart of her eyes back to him and then returning to staring straight ahead. She didn't attack, she didn't have the strength, but what was strange was that the beast didn't seem to _want_ to hurt him anymore. She had lost and as she let him stroke her soft fur, feeling the shallow rise and falls of her side as she breathed in and out, it seemed like she wanted the end to come.

Once again, Simon found the dagger in his hand, poised above the wolf's heart. He drew in a great breath, raising the blade above his head and preparing to bring it down and quickly end the wolf's life. But just as he would have done so, a gust of wind ravaged his body, penetrating all the openings of his cloak and giving a deathly chill to his skin. There was the sound of a wolf howling in the distance, his mournful song muffled by the rolling hills of snow. And then, as quickly and suddenly as it had come, the wind was gone. Simon sucked in a lungful of air, suddenly realizing he had been holding his breath.

Somehow the knife had fallen from his hand while the wind had blown through, and now as he looked down to find it an amazing sight met his eyes. Where only seconds before, a magnificent she-wolf had lain, now laid the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her hair was long, splayed about her head and across her chest in thick black locks that reflected the light of the sun. Her eyes, now closed were still oddly wolf-like and her features looked gorgeously feral. She was tall – thought not so much as him – and had a slender frame, but the muscles under her skin were still the same iron-like muscles of a wolf. To cover her body she wore a simple cloth or wool tunic – he couldn't tell off-hand – and over that a leather jerkin with a strip of leather tied around her waist as a belt. On her legs she wore leather breeches with raw-hide boots that came up to meet them. They were turned down so as not to completely cover her knees so Simon could see the fluffy down of rabbit fur that coated the inside. A furred cloak was fastened around her neck with what appeared to be a small, silver, wolf head brooch. It was such an intricate piece of metal work, that Simon found his hand reaching out to it, an odd trance falling over his mind. Before he could touch the metal, however, a steel-like hand closed around his wrist with lightening speed. With a gasp and a jerk, Simon leaped away, scuttling backwards in the snow like a fool.

As he watched, the girl sat up, her hair falling over her shoulders and the blood on her wounded side once again flowing freely – although it was more of an ooze now than a stream. She winced and looked at her wound, a stitch of regret jolting through Simon's heart that he had harmed such a goddess. Finally she looked up at him and their eyes met, his green pools locked with her amber orbs. A sort of connection flew between them for a moment, but almost too quickly the situation changed again. Instead of the cool, calculative gaze of a wolf, there now was the angry glare of a slighted woman. Her mouth opened and her supple lips formed a single word, her voice more of a snarl than anything else.

"_Idiot!_"

Simon was only capable of staring dumbly at this beautiful lupine goddess. Stare, and wonder when she would take her wrath…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Three

The boy's face had been the picture of fear. Almost beautiful. As I leaped for his throat, foolishly taking the clearest attack, the movement of his hand to his knife and back in front of his chest spelled death for me. Desperately, I tensed my front legs in an attempt to catch myself on his shoulders and maybe roll away from the wicked blade poised before me. No, he side-stepped and the knife's edge found its target. A yelp escaped my opened jaws as I fell, unbalanced, to the ground. Pain blossomed in my shoulder as my precious life-blood flowed down my front left leg. Then came the ground. I had wanted that connection, the snow was supposed to have been a cold cushion for my wounded shoulder, but the pain was mind-blowing as I hit the seemingly soft powder. Surely this wasn't snow, surely this was rock. Surely I would wake up soon and realize this had all just been a terrible dream. My watering eyes opened to whiteness every where, there would be no sweet awakening from this nightmare.

Frantically, I tried to push myself back to my paws. I knew if I stayed down then there was no chance of my survival. My legs shook, and my breath came in pants, but it was all to no avail. With a breathless groan, my heavy body fell with a soft thud into the snow. Defeat washed over me, sickening my heart and depriving me of any hope for survival. I would die, and that boy would kill me. Even as I thought this, the weight of his hand gently pressed down on my unwounded shoulder. It was warm and in a way comforting. He cared. Glancing back at him briefly, I saw in his eyes a gentleness that came with innocence. He raised the blade above my heart and my head flopped back to the ground. There was no hope for me now, with my death his innocence would be ripped from his soul like a weaning colt from its mother. The gentleness would be gone, and in its place a cold steeliness would grow and consume him. No longer would he hesitate to kill another animal, it would become second nature and he would grow into a cold blooded killer.

A sigh came from my muzzle, blowing some of the snow away from my nose. If only there was a way to escape this end, maybe two futures would be changed. I could feel the life draining from my body as my wound was left unbound, and my vision became blurry as I assumed they would if my eyes were glassed over. _So this is death? Funny how the cold no longer touches me…_ Yes, I was warm. It had happened suddenly, it was like a warm hand had covered my body and a gentle breeze blew through my fur like a soft caress of a hand. Even though I couldn't smile, the corners of my mouth curled slightly in what could have been a wolfish grin. A thud came from beside me and I saw the general shape of a knife, the boy's knife. And as I watched him guard his face with his hands as if he was being ravaged by some unseen force, the familiar sensation of phasing spread throughout my body. My arms and legs lengthened into those of a human's and my eyesight returned to normal. The fur rippled away from my body and was replaced with tanned skin, the only hair remaining being the long thick locks on my head. As the shift ended, along with it did the warm breeze, a mournful howl seeming to come from somewhere in the distance, however I could tell it came from the wind itself. _Odd…_ But I gave no more thought to the wind; instead I allowed my eyes to shut and tried to numb away the pain in my shoulder.

There was a gasp that told me the boy had seen my new form and then the heat of his hand as it crept slowly toward the wolf-head clasp holding together my cloak. Anger spread through my blood, gifting strength to my stiffening muscles. He would not touch that brooch, the only thing I had to remind me of my family. With impossible speed and precision, my hand darted out and closed with an iron-like grip around his wrist. The boy let out a shocked yelp and yanked away, scuttling back as he realized I was awake. Pain flared in my shoulder and my arm dropped too late as I saw that I had used my left arm. _Damn, damn, damnit! You idiot! _The boy faded into the back of my mind as I cradled my wounded shoulder, seeking to lessen the pain wracking the torn limb. Slowly, my eyes drifted up to the boy and his eyes widened at my glare. I knew what I looked like, the picture of death. His death. "Idiot." I hissed, anger seeping through my voice like venom. "Why the hell are you hunting me?"

The boy only sat there staring, his eyes wide and his mouth gaping open.

"What? Stop acting like you've never seen someone shift before and help me up!" The boy responded to my sharp command instantly, jumping up and scurrying over to my side. He was obviously used to being ordered around.

His hand closed around my outstretched wrist and I in turn clasped his, in that manner he helped to pull me to my feet. After I stood with my own strength and balance, I took a moment to scan him over. There were no tattoos that marked him as a lion, no sense of pride or honor that would mark him as tiger, he didn't have flightiness of an avian, and he seemed too reserved to be serpiente. Come to think of it, he didn't seem to have an animal counterpart at all. My eyes narrowed at the concept of such a thing. It was practically heresy. Peering at him suspiciously, I started to speak again but he cut me off with a wavering voice, "Wh-what _are_ you?"

I drew away with shock, and maybe some disgust. With his question, everything was made very clear to me. This boy wasn't like me, he wasn't like anyone. He was the black dot in a world of snow. He was different. And I was scared.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Four

It couldn't have happened, this was all just a dream and soon he would wake up and laugh at how silly he was being. But no, Simon's heart thudded away in his chest and the snow kept falling normally as if the world hadn't suddenly changed into something strange and unreal. Wolves weren't supposed to turn into humans! Humans weren't supposed to turn into wolves! _Are they?_ No, no! Of course not! The young man stepped away, the palm of his hand and the area where her palm had touched his wrist tingling and warm. "What _are_ you?" He asked again, this time with more of a desperate whine in his voice.

The woman just stood there and stared at him, her golden eyes wide with what he assumed must be shock. But she was the one who just changed her skin! How could she be scared? _Maybe to her, _you're_ the one who's strange._ The thought simply drifted across his mind without Simon realizing he had even thought it, but at the same time he knew it was the truth. However, it wasn't enough to slow his racing heart or to calm his nerves. With a huff, he fell back in the snow feeling very shaken and unsure. Following suit, the girl crouched down, her head low and her amber flames boring into his own green pools. With a groan he let his head fall forward and placed his hands on the back of his neck, scratching at the small hairs there. Surprisingly, it never crossed his mind that this could be dangerous. The young man just knew the girl sitting before him was neither in the condition nor wanted to cause harm. _What are you doing here? You need to get away from this witch before she casts a spell on you and turns you into a goat! _Simon though with the part of his brain that was terrified, but with the other half a bizarre curiosity kept him tethered to the spot.

"I am a wolf."

Simon's head jerked up, his eyes darting around for the owner of such a beautiful voice before they fell on the lupine goddess. Her head was cocked to the side slightly, and though her eyes were calculative and serious, her posture made her look like one of the puppies back at the village. This comparison made him chuckle a little and at the same time lessened some of the tension. At least on his part. With a small smile – he was hoping to calm the girl a bit since she was so obviously nervous – he eased himself forward until his sat in the same crouching position as she. "But you're a human too?" Simon asked, curiosity finally winning out as he inched forward, only stopping when the girl's eyes widened and her muscles tensed. He muttered a small, "sorry" and then waited for her reply.

"No, I am a wolf." She stated; the look on her face confused at how Simon couldn't understand.

Simon shook his head, still not getting it. "You look human. You look like the women back at my village except your much more—"the young man's face turned bright red as he had about to say 'pretty', correcting himself in-the-knick-of-time, "intimidating." _Intimidating? Really?_ The young man had never been good at giving compliments, but blurting out facts was never the way to flatter someone he knew for certain. Nevertheless, the girl didn't seem to mind too much; in fact, she didn't even seem to notice anything he had said beyond human.

Narrowing her eyes in what Simon guessed to be frustration, the girl abruptly lunged forward. Simon gave a yelp of surprise but found himself held fast by the goddess's iron grip. She jabbed a finger into her chest, speaking with the exactness one would use if speaking to a young child – needless to say, Simon felt a little insulted. "I am wolf _here._ I am both, here." She tapped her temple lightly as she said the last sentence. "You are two times human. There is no wolf here." The girl made the same gestures on Simon as she had herself, touching once on his chest and again on his temple, then back to his chest to finish with saying he lacked 'wolf'.

The young man still didn't completely understand, but he wasn't about to annoy this powerful creature. At least not until he was sure she wasn't going to kill him. Simon had been about to ask her name, when the girl pulled away with a hand on her shoulder. She grimaced, a look of such sincere pain that the boy felt wicked and evil for having harmed her. What had she been doing to him after all? _Nothing. Absolutely nothing…_ "Here, let me…" Simon let the offer drop, his eyes falling down to the snow. Let him what? Dress her wound? There were no bandages here and if there had been he wouldn't know how to use them correctly. What if he did something wrong and the wound got infected? What if- His thoughts were cut off when he noticed the girl sitting patiently in front of him, her eyes watching his hands curiously as she waited for the help he had started to offer. "I, I…" Simon gave a beaten sigh, his eyes rising to meet hers. "I can't. I don't know how…"

"Simple. Here." The girl said, her voice soft but confident as she held out three strips of cloth. "Take. Wrap."

Her speech was broken and seemingly unused, but the message was clear. Absentmindedly wondering where the lupine goddess had been hiding these bandages, Simon took one and started for her wound. Unexpectedly, a slender hand darted out and grasped his wrist. The boy looked up, startled and unsure of what he had done wrong.

"No. Snow. Clean. Hurts, but necessary. Watch." She released his wrist and reached down to grab a handful of snow which she then proceeded to rub into the wound on her shoulder, gritting her teeth against the pain. "Like this. Do it."

The girl turned her head away, her eyes closing and maybe a tear rolling down her far cheek – Simon couldn't tell for sure. Either way, he copied her, taking a handful of snow and rubbing it into the knife wound. Once he pushed too hard and she jerked away with a yelp, snarling in spite of herself. For some reason, this didn't scare the young human, quite the opposite he wanted to get closer and reassure her that it had been an accident. Finally, after five handfuls of snow on Simon's part, the young girl held up a hand when he went to rub more in. Under her instruction, he bound the wound with the three strips of cloth he had draped over his leg while cleaning the gash. This part was comparatively gentler and the young woman only winced once from the time he laid the cloth on to the time he tied it in a tight knot. The snow around them was red with the blood that had oozed out, and the girl's skin was considerably paler, but she seemed all right now that the wound had been cleaned and dressed. So much so, that Simon decided it was time he learned her name.

"So, what's your name?" His voice was unsure, but he was determined to learn this goddess was called. He was quite relieved when she smiled slightly, the pain on her face making her even more breath taking.

"No name." She replied simply, as if this was completely normal. Simon, however, was shocked.

"But, didn't your parents name you? What about the rest of your family, or—" The young man's voice trailed off as the girl turned her head down and away, a sudden shadow crossing her face. "You, you do _have_ parents…don't you?"

The lupine goddess returned her eyes to his, smiling sadly and giving a small shrug of her shoulders. Simon could see how much this hurt her, and he could see how much she tried not to let it show, but what he didn't see or realize was how much it hurt him. He didn't realize that hand twisting his gut was empathy; he didn't realize that he was quickly falling in love with this strange wolf-girl. He only saw how sad she was in that moment and he wanted to do anything that would make her happy again, anything that would draw the sorrow out of her smile. Unfortunately, he wouldn't get that chance for just at that moment came a snort from amongst the trees.

Simon looked up, but the young woman was already moving. Midnight fur had rippled across her skin and there had been a low grating noise as her bones had rearranged into their lupine positions. Within seconds, she was once more the beautiful she-wolf the young hunter had first seen, and even quicker than that she had disappeared into the trees. Simon stood, turning around and around trying to figure out where she had gone. A deep longing settled in his heart when grasped that she might not come back; he suddenly missed her.

Another snort came from behind him, however, and he didn't have time to think about the wolf-girl any more. As Simon spun around, there stood a huge sixteen-point buck. With every snort puffs of steam shot from his velveteen nose, and with every paw of his razor sharp hooves a wave of snow rose and fell. The buck watched the young hunter that had dared to enter his territory with furious suspicion in his dark chocolate eyes. With a sharp abruptness, Simon saw that this large buck wasn't about to let some human wander through _his_ territory. So, rearing on his hind legs and giving out an angry bellow, the buck charged; his rack of antlers lowering to skewer Simon directly through his stomach. Fear froze the young man and he found that all he could do was stand there and wait for death to come, as the buck traveled closer and closer he raised his arms instinctively to cover his face and braced for the impact…

That never came.

All of a sudden, a bloodthirsty snarl ripped through the air and Simon opened his eyes slightly to see a black arrow launch itself into the buck's side. Immediately, snarls and snorts and bellows echoed through the trees as the two leaped into a battle to the death. Simon watched in horror and awe as the buck leaped and twisted away from the raging ball of fur that bit and nipped at its heels and nose. The buck would twist and kick, the wolf dart and dodge. For every move there seemed to be a counter until finally, the she-wolf was able to sink her teeth down to the gums in the buck's front leg. She received a painful blow to the head, but she was able to give a violent jerk of her head; a loud crack resounding through both hers and Simon's head that meant the buck's leg had broken. Releasing the wounded deer, the she-wolf darted back and then forward to attack again, but this time the buck was ready. The mortal wound in his leg seemed not to faze him as he lowered his antlers and caught the wolf in their reaching fingers. With a startled yelp, the lupine goddess found herself in mid-air as the buck tossed his head skyward. However, instead of moving away, the buck stayed allowing the wolf-girl to land on his back. This sent the buck into a brutal rage and he threw himself against a tree in an attempt to dislodge the biting, tearing thing from his back. But he didn't count on the patch of ice hidden under the snow. With an intense bellow, the buck found himself lying on his back, the tearing thing gone from his back and now at his throat. The thick fur did nothing to stop the diamond hard fangs of the she-wolf as they closed around his jugular, the vein that carried the precious life-blood. Blood spilled onto the snow, staining it red. With his last strength, the buck gave a few death throws before at long last going still. Never to move again.

The wolf-girl released her hold on the buck and stepped away, panting heavily and with blood smeared over her muzzle. With a shudder, she shifted back and the figure of a wolf was replaced with that of a young woman. Simon stared at her in obvious awe and wonder. The lupine goddess stood before him, wiping away the last traces of blood from around her lips and giving an exhausted smile. Then, to the young man's terrified shout of surprise, she fell onto her side in the snow completely exhausted from malnutrition, loss of blood, and the battering she took from the buck.

With what seemed like agonizing slowness, Simon stumbled to her side and checked her vitals. There was a soft pulse at her neck, but at her wrists he could hardly feel anything. He hoped that was only from the cold as he scooped up the woman in his arms and started back for the village. The young hunter would have to come back later for the buck. Right now, he needed to get help for this young girl who had just saved his life. He only hoped he wasn't too late…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Five

What was I supposed to do? I couldn't just let him die! No, of course not, I had to play the hero. And like in all fairy-tales, I got beaten and battered and then left to die. But I didn't die, in fact I survived. Painfully, but I survived.

When I awoke, it wasn't to the forest. It wasn't to the bitter cold or the snow, but to gentle warmth and a soft bed. Instantly, I sat up, my eyes wide and my heart pounding. Just as quickly, I wished I hadn't because as the oxygen and blood rushed into my brain, so did a killer headache. A groan came from my lips and I squeezed my eyes shut, raising a hand to the side of my head and desperately hoping for relief.

"Oh good, you're awake."

I jerked my head up when the woman's voice came. Fear instantly pumping through my veins along side what was left of my blood. The room I was in was shadowed but not to the extent that I couldn't see, my eyes being so attuned to darkness it was rather easy actually. The woman sat in a chair to the left of my bed, which was one of the two furniture pieces in the room. She had short auburn hair that stopped at her shoulders, and a kind face that was thinner than usual. The woman looked small and petite, but not in a sickly kind of way, it was more of that was just how she was. All-in-all, she looked like a nice person, but appearances could be deceiving as I kept learning that day. First with the boy, then with the bull, but then again three is supposed to be a lucky number right?

"How are you feeling? Simon told me about how you saved him from the buck. You must be quite a shot." The woman asked in her soft voice. She reached out a hand and brushed some hair away from my forehead, instinctively I shied away with a frightened whimper and the woman jerked her hand back. "Oh, I'm sorry dear. I suspect you're scared sick just wakin' up and with me a complete stranger here watchin' you." She smiled sweetly and a sudden pain tweaked my heart that I couldn't explain. "Here, would you like me to help you out of bed?"

This woman was far from a threat but even the least likely of people could turn out to be your enemies. So, when she held out her hand again and stood up, I quickly yelped and bolted out of the bed, slamming myself against the wall and as far away from her as I could be. The abrupt move-and-halt jarred my wounded shoulder and I gave a pain filled grimace. The woman looked utterly confused and almost sad. "Oh dear, I'm not gunna hurt you! Just calm down and let me help you! Look your legs are near shakin' dear!" The kind looking lady said, her voice rising almost to the level of a normal person's.

_Normal._ What _was_ normal? I really didn't know anymore, was I normal or the boy? Speaking of whom, where was he? The woman took a tentative step forward, her hands up in a placating gesture. However, it did nothing to soothe the petrified creature I had become. As a result, I did what any _normal_ beast would do and I ran. There was a door to my right on the wall perpendicular to the one I was now leaning on, with a burst of speed I reached it and shot through into the outdoors. It was dark now – that explained the dimness of the room since, looking back, there was a window in there – but the moon's reflection off of the snow illuminated my path more than enough for my eyes.

My head was pounding, but I didn't care as I searched frantically for the tree line. There! I took off running even as the woman came outside and shouted after me to come back. But her words fell on deaf ears as I sped through the trees, finally fading into the forest as if I was a ghost. My feet carried me on in a desperate flight long after I had lost sight of the village. The pain in my shoulder and head was amazing but I couldn't have stopped even if I wanted to, which at that point I most assuredly did not. All I knew was that I had to get away from there. I had to get away from those strange creatures and I had to do it fast.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of running, I fell to my knees in the snow. My breath came in gasps and my eyes were wide from exertion and lingering fear, but I just didn't have the strength to continue any further. _At least I'm in the Forest… There should be a pack not far from here._ I thought with foolish hope, shifting into the large she-wolf that was my second form. My black paws moved with fatigued sluggishness and I began to wonder if I would make it to the borders of the pack I followed. The answer came quicker than expected when my legs gave out beneath me and the snow covered ground rose to cushion my body. _That's stupid, the ground doesn't rise…_ I thought absentmindedly as I stared off into the forest in front of me. Sometime, I drifted off into a restless sleep.

My body gave a lurching jolt as my mind sprang into wakefulness. I half-heartedly lifted my head and searched around me for what could have awoken me from what must have been a heavy sleep, but there was nothing. Nothing save for the crunching, pounding noise that echoed in my still aching skull. With a muted thud, my head fell back to the ground and my eyes closed; that same obnoxiously loud noise still sounding in my mind. I tried to ignore it, writing it off as the blood hammering through my brain, and eventually I began to drift off into shallow doze.

Everything was fine – except for the loud beating in my head – and I could have slept there all night until once again, my body gave a great heave flinging me into awake-ness for the second time. I couldn't smell or hear anything around me, so reason as to why I would wake up again escaped me. I hadn't dreamed about anything, but there was definitely _something_ causing me to stir so relentlessly. For a second time, I tried to hear or smell anything without lifting my head and for a second time there was nothing. Wait… Nothing? I listened again, harder this time, straining to catch any slight noise I could. Silence. The crunching, pounding noise from earlier was gone. _But I'm still alive so—_

My thoughts were cut off by the thunderous whooshing sound of an owl's wings as it flew overhead. But owl's wings were usually almost noiseless… _Oh gods!_ With painful suddenness, understanding washed over me. It hadn't been the blood pumping in my brain, it had been footsteps! As quickly as was possible, I forced my unresponsive body into a standing position, ignoring my screaming skull out of desperation to find who or what had been walking around my unconscious body. Spinning around, my eyes found a shadow standing amongst the trees. A menacing growl rumbled in my chest and I lowered my head, my tail swishing with agitation behind me. Unexpectedly, the shadow rushed forward until a ray of moonlight fell on it.

"Wait, wait!"

The boy's hands were raised in the same manner the woman's had been earlier that evening, except for some reason when he acted in this way it had some affect on me. At least enough to quiet my growling. Watching him warily, I cocked my head to the side in confusion. What was he doing out here? And more importantly, how had he found me? Oh well, I was surprisingly happy to see him. My tail wagged and I fell into the snow as I tried to sit. The familiar sensation of shifting spread through my body and I pushed myself up onto my knees, shivering with the loss of my thick fur coat. The young man smiled and my lips curled slightly in a grin. "For a second there I thought you were gunna attack me." He joked, walking toward me slowly so as not to startle me. Each step he took sent another booming roar through my head, but I was glad of his company.

"Too weak." I replied simply, feigning indifference but having admitted to being so exhausted was as good as asking for death in my world. Luckily, in his world that wasn't the case.

The boy had reached me and he took the oddly familiar cloak from around his shoulders, and draped it around my own as he sunk down to his knees in front of me. "Here, you forgot this in my village…" His voice was subdued and he looked away, embarrassment easily perceived from this action. But the reason escaped me.

"Your village? Where I was?" I asked confused.

He nodded his head and gave a small smile. "Yea. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up, but I really had to go back and get that buck you killed. Thanks for that by the way." A light came to his face and he pulled a small leather pack from his shoulders. "Here, there's some food in here if you want it."

A smile came to my face and I gently took the pack from his hands. I opened it – the closing system being a simple string – and peered inside. Many smells came to my nose, the most mouthwatering of which being the six strips of dried meat that rested in cloth wrappings on top of some bread and cheese. The boy gave me a quick nod when I looked up to confirm that this was for me and then I dug in. Within seconds, more than half the meat was gone and a block out of the cheese as well as a large chunk of the bread. When I'd finally eaten my fill, the pack was considerably lighter. I handed it back to the boy and he obligingly ate what was left. He ate much slower than myself and briefly I wondered if should have taken more time to learn some manners, but then he was speaking to me and I needed to listen.

"So do you really not have a name?" He asked with some disbelief.

I laughed quietly, surprised he was still thinking about names after the events of the previous day. "No."

"Wait, no you do have a name? Or no you don't have a name?" Confusion was plain in his voice and his face. I simply smiled wryly, the truth known only to myself and the wolf pack I sometimes followed. "Oh come on! Do you have a name or don't you?" He demanded sounding slightly exasperated.

Shrugging my defeat I gave a simple nod in response to his question.

"Well? What is it?"

"Kaluwa."

He smiled at me, a pink glow coming to his cheeks. "That's a pretty name." His voice was quiet as he complimented me on a curse. However, not wanting to upset him, I merely nodded. "I'm Simon." He said his voice stronger and more sure now. I only smiled again, sad that he couldn't understand and unable to explain that my name was nothing to be proud of. Now it was his turn to cock his head. "Have I said something?" Worry.

I opened my mouth to reply when something came to my sensitive ears. Footsteps? No, the whispers of footsteps. With abrupt awareness, I stood. Why would wolves be here now? They never patrolled in these parts of the woods this late… Did they? I was so weak and bewildered that I could have wandered too far past the territory line; if that was the case, it would be fine for me but since Simon was with me it might spell death for both of us.

"What? What is it?" Speaking of, my first friend – for now I recognized him as a friend and pack brother – stood up beside me and began looking around us, a paranoid look in his eye to match my own.

"Trouble." Was my short reply.

A footfall behind me caught my attention and I spun around, peering into the shadowy forest. Their evasiveness was really beginning to irritate me.

"What kind of trouble?" Simon asked, stepping closer to me.

Another footfall on my right and I twisted to face it.

"Wolves."

Right on queue, three huge male guards materialized around us. I growled angrily at the one standing before me, instantly moving to place myself between Simon and my fellow beasts as best I could. I inattentively registered that my friend had swallowed loudly, the scent of his fear wafting around us. But then, I had bigger things to concentrate on…


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Six

Velyo sat in the large tent that was his room glaring at the wall after yet another of him and his father's endless arguments. _When is he going to kick off anyway…?_ The young man thought restlessly, absentmindedly twirling a knife in his hand. Ever since that wyvern with the hourglass curves had gotten away he had been exceedingly moody, playing with his knife was just one of his many recent hobbies. The rest all having to do with his father. Usually thinking of ways to either kill him or make the rest of his life miserable. But, he didn't have time for that right now; he had to think about how to deal with an intruder. He was always in the mood for a good hunting, or maybe Velyo would simply slit his throat and be done with the fool. The young 'shifter gave an exasperated groan and scrubbed his faced with dry hands. He was restless. His father had kept them in the same place for nearly two weeks and the handsome – if irritable – man had had enough of it. He was tired of snow, tired of staying in one place, tired of his father, tired of people trying to step in on **his** land, and tired of being tired.

"Sir, the guards are back with the intruders."

With a wave of his hand, Velyo sent the messenger away without bothering to even see who it was. Giving a tired sigh, he stood and straightened his clothes before shoving the knife into the sheath at his hip. Then, he glanced in a tall mirror to check his appearance before striding through his tent flap and walking at a brisk pace toward the other side of camp. Since it was winter that meant walking a whole ten yards, but the distance still infuriated him. _You would think they could have the common decency to at least meet me half way…_ The young prince thought angrily.

The three guards saluted him when they saw him walking toward them, and then shrunk away when they saw he was angry. But Velyo wasn't paying attention to the guards. No, his eyes suddenly locked on the beautiful woman standing in front of him. Her eyes were the deepest amber, thoughts of flames and honey and gold floated through his mind without him bidding them just by looking at those two orbs. Her hair was long, the tips stopping at what he measured to be a mere two inches above her waist, and completely black. Her body was lithe, and well muscled, but she was thin. Sickly almost. And there he met deterrence. If she was sick now, then she would have sickly children and that was something he just couldn't afford. Especially if they had Frektane as a grandfather. Disappointment spread across his features, followed by distaste mixed with a little surprise when he saw the boy. A wicked smirk curled his lips impishly and he stepped closer to Simon, motioning for the girl to be pulled back when she gave him rather savage snarl. They would have to have a talk about that later, but now he was analyzing.

"Well, well, well. What have we here?" He asked, though his voice and the words themselves made it obvious he was speaking in the rhetorical. "It isn't often that a human stumbles upon our little camps." Velyo paused and leaned in close, his icy blue eyes flashing dangerously in the moonlight. A satisfied smile played on his lips when the boy drew away in fear. "Might I ask what you want here? Because if you can't tell us then we'll just have to assume you have a death wish."

"I… Um, that is…." Simon stammered, the scent of his terror drifting to all of their noses save his own.

"Leave him alone Velyo, he's done nothing wrong." Kaluwa suddenly cut in, her voice strong and confident and strangely eloquent as she came to her young friend's rescue. "We're just passing through and we needed rest. Just let us sleep for the night and we'll be gone by morning." The way she spoke, it was as if she was just daring him to deny her this. Even so, she seemed the most surprised when Velyo obliged.

"Of course m'lady. I couldn't just let you freeze could I? Now where would my manners be then?" The young prince asked his voice sickeningly sweet and laced with mock courtesy. Kaluwa stiffened as he left Simon and came to her, but she gave no other sign of discontent beside the scowl on her face. "But, you will of course have to share my own room darling for as you can see we're a little short on places to stay." He jumped back to dodge the snarling snap that the young female tried to deliver to him, her teeth closing with a click on empty air and his booming laugh echoing off of the surrounding tents. "Don't worry sweetheart, I'll be gentle with you."

"Would you just stop?"

Everyone turned at the sound of Simon's outburst. His face was red, though if it was from anger or embarrassment none of them could tell. However, Kaluwa suspected it had to do with both.

"It's people like you that make me sick! Always thinking you're better than everyone else and that you should have the world handed to you on a platter!" Simon said, his voice almost a growl it was so contorted by his rage and abhorrence of Velyo and his men. "Kaluwa is the nicest girl I've ever met and—"

"Kaluwa eeeh?" Velyo interrupted, suddenly interested as he turned his attention back to the young female, the fiendish grin returning to his face. "Would that be the same Kaluwa whose followed on the fringes of our pack since she was a pup? Would that be the same Kaluwa whose name means 'forgotten'?" The man tilted his head back and laughed along with his men, the young wolf-girl tilting her head down and away while Simon stood there with his hands tied behind his back and realized why his friend had been so slow to reveal her name.

Finally, Velyo's laughter subsided into mere chuckles along with his men and he returned his piercing gaze to the dark head 'shifter. But when he saw the broken look on her face, as if he had destroyed her entire world, he didn't want to laugh anymore. He wanted to rush to her and take that slender frame in his arms and hold her until she smiled. His humor faded away and was quickly replaced with more irritation, mostly from his surprise at feeling in such a way about any one, but also in the way that he blamed his feelings on the girl. Who was she to make him feel in such a way? With a frustrated – and confused – growl, Velyo grabbed the nearest guard by the front of his tunic and shoved him. "What are you three doing standing around here for? Take these two to my quarters and then get back to work!" He demanded, a little more than angrily.

The two guards glanced back and forth at each other before one of them spoke up. "Well sir, what if they try to attack you in the middle of the night?"

Velyo rolled his eyes and ran a hand down his face. Roughly, he grasped the bindings that held Kaluwa and yanked her along after him, calling over his shoulder to his men. "Well then I'll take her and you three can keep an eye on **that** runt!" The three guardsmen gave a collective groan and to tell the truth, Simon didn't feel that great about spending more time than he needed to with these goons. But without Kaluwa here to protect him, he decided it might be smarter to keep quiet and made no sound of protest.

There came a crunching noise as they stomped through the snow, every once in a while Kaluwa pulling on her tether. Within seconds they reached Velyo's tent and he yanked her inside, shoving her with irritated fierceness. The young 'shifter tripped over one of the many fur rugs on the floor and fell in a crumpled heap, her arms twisted in an uncomfortable position because of their ties. She whimpered slightly from pain but the wolf prince was quickly there and pulling her back onto her feet. "You alright?" He asked, his voice gruff and without care, merely a formality.

Kaluwa glared at him with more than disgust. "I'm _fine_." She spat the word, venom in her voice.

The blue eyed wolf held her there for a moment and their eyes locked, anger was forgotten as they searched the other's face for some reason to look away. But none was found and fire met ice as golden flames gazed into sapphire glaciers. The young man raised a hand and let his palm graze her cheek, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "Gorgeous…" He breathed, saying the word in such a way that it was evident he was mentally undressing her.

Something was happening inside him, something he couldn't explain. There was something about this girl that drew him in, that made him want to have her and for her to have him. But he knew such a pairing would be an abomination, her past and her physical wellness just weren't alpha material. Hardening himself for what he was about to do, Velyo forced the smile off of his face and replaced it with a scowl. He pushed Kaluwa to arms length and shook his head, running a large hand through his hair. "No." He mumbled more to himself but he knew the woman heard him. It nearly broke his heart to see the beautiful look of pain and confusion on her face. "You sleep in the bed, and I'll guard the door."

Surprise replaced pain and she grabbed his arm as he turned away. "Why would you have to guard the door in your own home?" The young woman asked a look of fierce determination on her face as if she was practically daring him to not answer.

"Well, you wouldn't understand, but because my father isn't exactly the paternal figure. So, you get some sleep and I'll make sure we're not attacked in the wee hours of the morning." He replied, his voice clipped and short. And with that he twisted out of Kaluwa's grasp and stomped out of the tent leaving a shaken and slightly dazed young woman behind him.

"Goodnight then…" She whispered to the empty room before getting into his bed and snuggling under his sheets to breathe in his smell for what remained of nobody's night…


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Seven

_The light of the sun shone through the bright green leaves of the forest making the world seem shaded with emerald. I danced through the trees with my arms held straight away from my body as if they were wings. Twisting, leaping, even falling, I made my way through the forest. It didn't matter where I was going, just that I was on my way there. Time didn't exist, I simply __**was**__; there was no beginning and no end. A child's laugh came from my lips as I tripped, yet again, and fell into the pillow soft grass. The paper thin blades tickled my skin as I rested amongst them, a gentle breeze stirring a few strands of my dark hair and tossing them in the sky. This was bliss; I could lie there forever with the trees keeping their silent watch while I frolic through their leafy halls with the grass and wind. Another laugh came from between my lips as I leapt back to my feet and ran with my arms outstretched through this wild place. _

_Jumping with ease over a fallen log, something glinted in the green tinted sunlight and I twisted around to appease my curiosity. Kneeling down in the loamy soil there, my nimble hands dug away at the treasure that lay half-buried in the ground. Finally, with a tug, I pulled my prize free from its earthen coffer. I fell back onto the ground and sat there with avid curiosity at the small dagger that was now being turned over and over in my hands. Its blade was slightly curved and only sharpened on one side, but the craftsmanship of the weapon was exquisite. However, this went unnoticed by me as I thought it a new toy. A grin spread across my face, revealing more than one tooth missing from my gums, and I made to stand._

"_Kaaaaaaariiiiiiis!"_

_My head instantly jerked upward, my ears strained to catch every sound._

"_Kariiiiiiiis!"_

_Father! I giggled and threw myself into a shift, the knife forgotten and left where it fell from my lap. My black paws raced across the ground and I reveled in the feel of the wind rushing through my fur. Within minutes, the camp had come into view; it seemed almost to materialize as I rounded a bend of particularly dense trees. I only had to search for a second before spotting my father waiting for me at the edge of the camp, his arms opening and a broad smile growing on his face as he caught sight of me as well. Sprinting the last few yards, I hurdled myself into his arms, shifting as I went so that when he caught me the arms and legs of a human child clasped around him. _

_I hugged him as tightly as I could, refusing to ever let him go again. And he returned my affectionate nature eagerly. "Come with me Karis, there's someone here for you to meet." Father said, the playful tone of his voice enough alone to peak my interest as he carried me on his back to the market._

_The tigers had come to trade, and their leader had brought his son who was only a few years older than me. Father set me gently on the ground and reached out his arm to clasp wrists with the muscled Mistari man. They quickly settled into friendly conversation and I eventually managed to coax the tiger's cub from behind his legs. We were friends almost immediately and we ran through the camp emitting raucous bouts of laughter as we went._

_But abruptly everything changed. No longer was the land green and fertile, but now smothered in ash made by the fire that had consumed it. I wandered through the wreckage of my camp, alone and lost in my own world. How had this happened? Why had they all gone? No, they didn't go, they had been taken from me! Anger heated my blood and I stooped to snatch a handful of ash from the ground and throw it furiously into the air, only the give a yelp of pain when hot coals touched my skin. _

"_What was that?"_

"_I heard it to!"_

"_You! Go check it out!"_

_I whimpered and turned to run, in my haste to escape not taking the time to catalogue my surroundings and so I collided with the bare stomach of a Mistari soldier. He pulled a bow from his shoulder and knocked an arrow to the quivering string; for one terrible second I wondered that he might plan to use the weapon on me, but a breath of relief came from my mouth when the arrow found its mark in the chest of some stranger with a thud. Looking up as a tear streamed from my eye, leaving a streak down my ash-covered cheeks, I recognized this man to be the very same Mistari man that had came to trade with us the spring before. Then strong arms were around me and I was lifted off the ground as I fought with my urge to cry._

"_There now little cub, everything will be alright." He said in his deep voice, trying to soothe the wildness that crept into my heart with every quivering breath._

_As we walked through my desecrated world – ash still swirling in the air and every once in a while the tell-tale crumble and thud as a tent finally fell in on itself – my eyes fell on more than one broken body. I began to fear for my Father who I still hadn't seen on our walk away from the camp. But anguish rose in my heart when I saw that achingly familiar face torn and bloodied under a growing mound of ash. He was dead, Father was dead. Suddenly, I found I could contain my tears no longer and they fell freely down my face._

"The Mistari traders will arrive any day now on their way to Kalisa's pack and if things continue as they are now we won't have the provisions to give them board for the night."

A young scout's gruff voice shook me from my slumber and nightmares. Light streamed into the tent however so I figured it was time for me to be stirring anyway. Surprise found me when I realized my heartbeat was much faster than it usually was when I first woke and I wondered absentmindedly what exactly I had been dreaming about to make me so restless. But Velyo chose that time to step back in through the tent flap with a troubled expression on his face and that made me forget everything else. Seeing the unease and puzzlement on his face made my heart ache and I slid from under the covers of his bed and walked to the side of the chair he had fallen into. His head rested in his hands as he stared restively at the ground. In the week I had spent at his camp, the small amount of time I had seen him or managed to catch glimpses of him he had always seemed distressed and bothered about something. Yet, every time I asked him or offered my help, he always gave that same sad smile and shook his head saying, 'Don't worry about it, I'm fine.'

Tentatively, I placed a hand on his shoulder and waited for him to respond. When he remained silent I spoke instead. "Velyo..?" I ventured, keeping my voice quiet but steady.

He merely sighed and brusquely shrugged my hand away. "Don't, just don't alright? I have enough problems without having to—" He bit back whatever insult he had been about to say and groaned, running a broad hand through his hair. "Just, go watch out for that human and make sure he doesn't get himself into any trouble. I'd hate to see his last day here end in disaster…" The tone in which he said this however, made it clear that he wouldn't care at all if Simon fell into some catastrophe before the two scouts assigned to escort him to the forest's edge were ready and able to do so. But understanding Velyo's tenseness, I just nodded and shouldered past him to walk through out the door flap. For some reason, it hurt when he didn't try to stop me like he usually did…


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Eight

How long had it been? A week, maybe a couple more days? Still, the feelings were as prominent in his heart as if it had been a lifetime. And now, he was going to leave her. Simon sighed sadly, thinking about the goodbye that was approaching much too quickly. He would be allowed to stay until evening the next day, long enough to tell Kaluwa happy birthday and then be gone. What would she be turning again? Twenty? He was fairly certain that was what she had told him, but he would check with someone else in the wolf camp just to make sure. Most of the guards had quickly taken a liking to her so he assumed one of them was bound to know._ Twenty years old… I never knew she was older than me; she looks too young…_ The young human thought absentmindedly, staring off into the trees and watching the snow melt with agonizing slowness. He could only claim seventeen years to his name and he thought that had been an accomplishment, but to live by yourself and claim twenty should be awarded a medal! _Well, maybe not that much, but a celebration at any rate._

Almost instantly he smacked his forehead. Of course there were traders coming in so they wouldn't be able to have a celebration yet, but surely they would after the traders had left. Wouldn't they? Oh well, he didn't have time to think about that, he needed to finish Kaluwa's gift. The small wooden fit easily in his hand and was already looking wonderfully real. Carving away some excess meat from the small wolf's tail, Simon blew out hard and sent wood shavings drifting out onto the wind. He looked over the little trinket and smiled, pleased with his craftsmanship. At least his father had managed to teach him one thing.

"What's that?" Kaluwa's dispassionate voice carried to him over the few yards still separating them as she quickly closed the distance. However, remote and casual that it was, to Simon it was like music.

The young man jerked his head up, green eyes instantly searching for the goddess like woman whom accompanied the sweet voice. Straight away he found her and a smile spread across his face as he stood and hid the wolf carving behind his back. "It's a gift." He replied coyly, willing to go to any lengths to hear her beautiful voice for as long as he could.

"Why are you making a gift?" The lupine angle asked, cocking her head as she came to a stop a mere few feet away from him. Just the nearness of her figure was enough to send his head into a dizzy spiral, a desperate need crashing over him to take her in his arms and hold her. It felt almost as if he was drowning in his love.

"Well, there's a special occasion and it just seemed like something where I would give a gift." He shrugged, trying to cast it off as nothing special knowing that would only intrigue her more.

"What occasion?"

"Well, it's someone's birthday." Simon's voice was hesitant and he could visibly see the tensing of Kaluwa's body and the way she narrowed her eyes distrustfully.

"No." She said coldly, used to this argument by now.

"Kaaaal, come on—"

"No! No gifts, and that's final." Her growl cut him off instantly, the sharpness of it surprising him almost as much as the sudden feral glint in her golden-amber eyes. But as quickly as her anger had come, it was gone. The wolf-girl's features softened, a small smile curling at the corners of her lips. But it was all fake. She could feign happiness but the sadness in her heart would forever linger in the flames of her eyes.

Simon sighed and smiled. "How about we go for a ride then?" The young hunter suggested somewhat shyly.

Kaluwa laughed, the sound of her mirth comparable to the sells of bells chiming or the soft tinkling of glass. "Simon, you know the ground is too wet and slick this time of year. The horses would slip and the danger is just too high right now." She replied, a mild tone of chastisement to her voice. The young man's face fell slightly and he gave a small 'Oh' with a bowing of his head. The young lupine goddess quickly felt guilt's aching throb in her chest at the look upon his face. She bit her lip and quickly found a solution. "But, we can take a walk instead?"

A smile lit the young man's face and he nodded his head quickly, turning to hide the small carving that he tucked inside his cloak. "Let's leave now then." He proposed, taking Kaluwa's hand and tugging her after him into the woods.

They ran through the slushy snow like children, for a moment leaving everything behind and simply living. Simon laughed with that woman as he had never laughed before, it was if he hadn't truly lived until her face had appeared before his eyes. Now, he was so consumed by his feelings for her that if she asked it he would cross mountains to be by her side. But he couldn't stay… No, thoughts like that he pushed far away, back into the depths of his mind. The sound of water reached their ears and the gorgeous young woman led them to a small stream of melted snow. They knelt down and scooped up the freezing water, letting the icy liquid quench their thirst from the run they had just shared. When they had both drank their fill, they lay back in the snow, staring up at the bare trees and laughing without reason. Happiness simply making them giddy. It was Simon who finally spoke through his laughter.

"So I guess I'll be returning tomorrow won't I." He began, hoping anxiously that she would say something along the lines of asking him to stay.

"Yes." The young woman replied reasonably while the man lying beside her mentally reassured himself that she had never been very eloquent if she didn't have to be.

"Back to my village…" He prompted; still hoping the request would come from those lips just begging for him to kiss them.

"Where else would you return to?" She asked, still thinking on the obvious side of the conversation.

"I don't know… I was just – I don't know…" Simon's dejection must have shown in his voice for as his already hushed voice softened even more, his lupine goddess sat up and studied him briefly.

"Stay." She said simply, watching him with her calculative amber eyes.

"I—I…. Um, that is…" He was at loss for words, of course this is what he had wanted but never had he actually expected it to happen. Now that it had, the poor boy didn't know how to react.

"That's what you're wanting me to say isn't it?" Kaluwa said in the most impersonal voice Simon had heard her use. He quickly realized she had seen through him all along, she knew his feelings; she just hadn't wanted to hurt him by turning away. "You want me to ask you to stay because you love me. Close your mouth; don't look shocked that I know. After all I am a wolf." When he didn't speak she continued. "Did you know that there are different smells your body has for different emotions? When you're scared, when you're angry, when you're sad or upset." She paused for a moment, watching his face. "When you see the one you love."

"You've known all this time…?" He asked timidly and more than a little embarrassed.

"Of course. I am—"

"A wolf I know, but you've known all this time and you never told me?" He cut her off, for the first time not wanting to hear what she had to say. Not wanting to her excuse. She ducked her head slightly, something like shame and uncertainty crossing her face before she was able to check her emotions. Simon scoffed at his own ignorance, running a hand down his face as he sat up, drawing a knee closer to his chest to help him balance. "Well, I guess I must seem like quite the fool now huh. All this time…" He let the sentence drop, shaking his head and standing. Kaluwa stood as well – a worried expression on her face – and reached out to try and place a soothing hand on her friend's shoulder. The young human, however, simply shoved it away, the once sweet magic of her touch now nothing more than a teasing game she played with him. "It's getting late. Let's head back." Simon was surprised at hardness in his voice and even more surprised at the wince it triggered from the young wolf-girl, whose hand she had yanked away.

Kaluwa watched Simon for a moment before nodding her head dismally and turning to lead him back to the Frektane camp. "Yea, I guess so…" The woman couldn't understand her own feelings, she knew it wasn't love or lust she felt for this human pup but when he was sad or upset in any way it made her feel that she needed to protect him. It made her feel that she needed to destroy whatever made him hurt inside, but right now that 'whatever' was her. She was bewildered and hesitant and it showed as she led Simon back to the camp, her nostrils flaring every once in a while when she stepped off track and she needed to remember where they had come from.

Finally, they reached the point where Simon could tell how to get back to the campsite and he shoved past her, striding forward at a brisk pace. He would have kept walking in that manner too, if Kaluwa hadn't suddenly frozen, her golden eyes flaring dangerously as her head turned slightly to the right and her ears strained to catch every sound. The young man stopped, and watched her strange behavior warily, glancing around him with immediate paranoia. "Kal what—" The young woman raising her hand was enough to silence him without further protesting. He absentmindedly shuffled closer to the wolf-girl's side, not knowing what to do but the longing to be nearer to her overriding his memories of their previous argument. She hardly even noticed.

With sense of rushing, fur rippled across Kaluwa's tanned skin and she took off into the trees wearing the form of a large, black she-wolf. Simon could only look after the darting views he could see of her until she disappeared completely from his already limited view, and with her absence came fear. This was a wild place, and he had just lost his one protection…


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Nine

Of course he cared for me, of course he wanted me, I had sensed that underlying lust for so long but when had it progressed without my knowledge? He truly was a difficulty to read… But why had I been so cruel? I mentally beat myself up, going over our argument again and again. My words had been uncalled for and nothing would have ever given me the right to speak to him that way, not even if he had done something so terribly wrong that they would be justified. He was my first friend and it was my job to cherish him and care for him, but the differences between us were just too great for me to love him in a romantic way. Yes I loved him, but as a brother and a dear friend. That young human was important to me, but I was not going to lead him on with false endearment. I would not tell him how I felt, but I wouldn't tell him how I didn't feel either. That was the only way to avoid losing him as friend at this point. Any other option I was not willing to perform…

Suddenly, a loud crash jolted me from my thoughts and I kicked into high gear. Clods of mushy snow flew up behind my swift paws, my mouth open so I could pant and my eyes watching for the camp. Finally it loomed in the distance, a great shadow half hidden by the trees. I slowed to a steady lope and then to a trot before lowering my speed even more so I cold creep up on my belly and examine the situation. Mistari traders were yelling at Frektane guardsmen about how clumsy they were and the guardsmen were yelling right back about how the Mistari wouldn't know what clumsy was if it hit them in the face. I rolled my eyes at the weakness of the wolves' comeback, but recognized the potential for a brawl to break out in the middle of camp. So, I continued to crawl forward on my belly until I had managed to slip under a supply wagon that was relatively close to the arguing men. There I waited and watching for either the men to cool down or the first punch to be thrown. It wasn't long before the latter occurred.

One of the Mistari men had taken great offense when a Frektane guard had made some vulgar comment on the tiger's family and he reared back a fist. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that. I saw the Mistari man's fist flying forward and I launched myself at that arm, hoping to drag him down and use surprise to bring the people back to their senses. Unfortunately, with my one minded focus, I didn't see another tiger leaping for me just as my teeth closed around the first's wrist. Thankfully, the punch was stopped, but I then found myself on my side, the breath knocked out of me, and with a tiger's paw threatening to crush my ribcage. A strangled yelp escaped my throat as I struggled to free myself, and amazingly the weight lifted. Oxygen flooded into my lungs and black dots danced in front of my vision. Even so, I pushed myself onto wobbly legs and turned to face my aggressor.

He had shifted back into his human form so he was much taller than he had been and standing on two legs. Even as his figure was consumed and spat out by the multitude of black spheres, I could see that he was handsome and apparently kind for he knelt and reached out muscled arms to steady me. No, not steady me; he pulled me gently into a warm embrace, nuzzling his face into the fur on my neck and behind my ear. The world around us seemed to fade away and for a few seconds I was too surprised to be angry or scared, but the adrenaline quickly ran out and I returned to my right mind as the dancing dots retreated to the back of my head. I snarled and twisted away from the tiger, shifting rapidly as I did, so that the woman who emerged was looking a little haphazard. There was a scowl on my face, specifically to hide the surprise my mind was still reeling with, as I advanced upon the man. I raised a hand and jabbed my index finger into the tiger's broad and well muscled chest, the action meant to accusatory but I think that effect was lessened when he simply smiled at my antics. However, that only helped to irritate me more.

"Who do you think you are coming in here and attacking me and then pulling something like, like…that!" My voice rose to a shriek as I lost control of my usually somber and critical appearance. "What made you think you had the right to—"

"Karis!" The tiger shout to cut me off, and it worked excellently. "Karis, don't you recognize me?" He asked, his voice now soft and hopeful as he stepped forward, reaching out for me with his large hands. I could only stand there, dumbfounded and shocked, wondering why that name sounded so familiar. The palms of his hands brushed against my cheeks as he tenderly caressed my face, once again drawing me against him in a warm embrace. My eyes were wide with surprise but I didn't pull away, in fact, as his right hand came up to cradle the back of my head and his left arm squeezed me tighter, I felt my arms coming up around his middle. "Karis…" He murmured into my hair, as the feeling of déjà vu became more and more pronounced in my thoughts. "Karis, I've missed you so much…"

Finally, the surprise and familiarity of this man and his embrace and the repetition of that name, a stranger's name but not mine. Right? With sudden vehemence, I yanked away from his arms. Those strong, comforting—No! I refused to lose my thoughts again; he was nothing more than a cat! _He's a tiger, and you know him… Why are you fighting that? _Some rational part of my mind was saying, but I shoved it away listening instead to my instincts and to my fear which both were saying dogs have never played well with cats. This would be no exception. "I don't know you… And my name isn't Karis…" I forced the words out of my mouth, stumbling away from him until my back thudded against the wagon I had hid under.

With sudden rapidity, everything around me seemed to magnify and come into crystal clear focus. The men around us – wolf and tiger alike – staring at the tiger and I with confused expressions, Velyo sprinting to my side from somewhere across the camp and snarling angrily at his guardsmen about coming to him sooner when someone arrives at their front door, and the one thing that was so crystalline was the tiger's face. He watched her with something like anguish in those fiery orange eyes, hints of green swirling through them; the hardness of his jaw as he drew himself to his full height and tried to smile as if everything was alright and he had mistaken her for someone else. But it was all fake, I could see it in his eyes that he knew me, or at least he thought he knew me, and that my turning away from him had been like sliding a knife into his back.

"My apologies ma'am." The tiger said, bowing his head slightly in respect. "I thought you were someone I once knew. But then I guess ghosts don't walk so visibly do they…" He let the sentence drop and stood for a while before saying something to his men in a sharp tongue and turning on his heel to begin unloading one of the wagons.

"Are you alright?" Velyo asked me, his voice tense as he scanned me over quickly as things died down and his guardsmen returned to their posts while the Mistari traders unloaded a the few things they would need that night.

_No! I'm not alright! I know that man but I've never seen him in my life and my best friend is in love with me and I have no idea how to tell him I don't feel the same way without losing him forever! I'm tired, cold, and hungry and all I want to do is go to sleep! _"Yes, I'm fine." I replied morosely, glancing over my shoulder at the darkening woods as I thought about Simon out there all alone. Had the day really gone by so quickly? How could I have forgotten about him for so long? _What a friend I am…_ "I need to go out and get Simon though…" I made a move as if to start for the trees, his hand sliding down my arm from where he had grasped me. I was surprised when his fist suddenly tightened around my wrist, stopping me from going any further. I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering what he was stopping me for when who knows what could have been attacking Simon. "What Velyo?" I prompted, my voice clipped in my haste to retrieve Simon before he was injured.

"Um…" The Frektane prince glanced around for some reason to have stopped me, his piercing blue eyes unable to look directly at mine.

Finally he sighed as if defeated and I briefly wondered what was going on with him, but my wrist slipped from his grasp and I immediately shifted and took off into the woods. Once I hit the tree line, I paused and looked back at him. He stood there staring at where I had disappeared, a confused look of loss and anger clouding his face. His mixed feelings confused me, but I didn't have time to think about it right then, I needed to get to Simon as fast as I could. So, I spun around and sprinted as fast as my black paws could carry me, praying that he would still be where I left him and that nothing had harmed my precious friend. _Please let him be alright…_


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: So, so, sooooo sorry that it has taken so long to get this out! I also, didn't have time to do much editing on this... Sorry for mistakes . I will hopefully be a lot more proactive with this story... .**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

"Kaluwa! Kaluuwaaaa!"

Simon's voice echoed emptily in the cold air as he tried to follow his friend's smeared tracks. He ran at first, but quickly slowed. What was he doing? He was going to leave anyway right? The human glanced back over his shoulder, back toward the human village he had come from. He could find the way back of course, and the trek would most likely only take a few days if that, but something kept him rooted to the spot. Was it her? The she-wolf who had stolen his heart and shattered it all in one breath? The male's chest squeezed tightly at the thought of Kaluwa, as if massive hands had wrapped around him. "I should have known…" He mumbled grumpily, kicking at a mushy pile of snow. "She could never love someone like me… After all, I'm just a human.."

Human. The word sounded harsh and cruel rolling off of his tongue, as if it were an insult. "Human.." Simon spat, making the word sound as ugly and vile as he possibly could. "Human!" He growled, kicking at the half melted snow again. "Stupid _human_!" He screamed, falling to his knees and pounding clenched fists against the soggy ground. Mud splattered on his face, his clothes, up and down his arms, and all over his hands, but the dirtiness meant little to him. What did he care? What did _any_body care? _They don't…._ The thought was mean, the voice it spoke with painfully not his own. "Kaluwa..?" He whimpered, looking up and searching the closely knit trees for any sign of her return, any sign that she had come back to wrap her arms around him and apologize for leaving him so suddenly. He saw nothing, just empty space.

Simon stood, dragging his feet beneath him one at a time until he found himself unsteadily upright, but there was a strong urge deep in his mind that told him he had to go. Perhaps it was instinct, casting the lesser male away from a more suitable array of possibilities, then again maybe it was his own insecurity that screamed at him he wasn't good enough to linger in her company any longer. No matter how badly he wished it was not so. No matter the reason, the drive was present and it pulled him away from the Frektane camp and herded him in the direction of home. His real home with his own people. _But I don't want to go back…_

What reason could he give? 'I was afraid of walking back alone.' No, she would see right through him. After all, he had been brave enough to go out and hunt alone the first time hadn't he? 'I thought you might want to tell me goodbye.' That was as horrible an excuse as any, she would call him crazy for even thinking it, or worse, she would tell him goodbye and send him on his jolly little way. 'I couldn't leave without saying goodbye.' Well, that was more believable, but no more dignifying. _Dammit! I just can't win…_

The boy fell back on his haunches, his back pressed against a tree. Sure the rough bark jabbed painfully into his back, but if he noticed, no one would have told that from looking at his face. Simon absently wondered if this was how Kaluwa felt every day. If this sinking, hollow feeling was what she lived with every time she woke up in the morning. If so, how had she survived? How could anyone survive when they felt this horrible? Surely death would have been a better option than such anguish. His forehead fell forward, his face smothered between two large palms. No, they weren't that large. He had seen the hands of those wolf men, they were built for the wild and they looked like it. They had muscles in places Simon hadn't even though possible. Now that he thought about, Kaluwa had been like that too. Her body had always been so strong, so disciplined, even when she had been dying from starvation, she had seemed so invincible. He couldn't compare to them, couldn't hold a candle to their obvious superiority. What did he have that they didn't? Memories of rejection?

Simon scoffed at his own piteousness, picking up a twig and breaking a piece off to throw it. He would stay. What choice did he have? He couldn't very well leave without at least _trying_ to apologize. Then again, what would an apology do in a time like this..?

* * *

Simon opened his eyes drearily. The sun had gone down now, shrouding the forest in a hazy mist, shadows dancing within it lending his imagination plenty of cannon fodder. What was out there? Was it going to hurt him? Eat him? Chop him up into little, itty-bitty pieces and make a stew out of him? _Very funny…_ He needed to keep better control over his subconscious from now on. "Hello?" The young man called, standing with a groan as is muscles voiced their own complaint. How long had he been asleep? "I don't even remember passing out." Simon muttered with irritation, he needed to be more careful. Especially in such a dangerous area without Kaluwa to protect him. "Hello?" He called again, this time a bit louder.

Silence answered him.

The forest seemed to be holding its breath, not even the creak of a branch swaying overhead in the wind giving a voice to the eerie soundlessness surrounding him. There came no subtle hoots of an owl, not even the screech of a night bird rustled from its roost by some lucky predator. The world was still, each and every creature waiting with baited breath for something to happen. Simon was no exception. He understood the woods, he understood that somewhere, sometime, there was always noise. _Always_. This quiet just didn't make sense.

Finally, a sound met his ears, the crunching of snow underfoot. "Hello?" Simon addressed the air, not even a shape taking for amongst the shadows for him to turn his attention toward. "Is anyone there?" Nothing. It seemed silence was once again his company for the evening. Then again, not everything is as it seems. Something cold and wet touched his knuckles, making the young man cry out and leap away in shock. In the place he had stood mere seconds ago, was a slender wolfess, her body lined with delicate muscles and fiery golden eyes gazing blankly after the male. Her expression was easy to read, 'what are you doing?', blanketed her face. Kaluwa even cocked her head to the side. She shifted, the fur receding back into tanned skin as she stood again on two legs. "Obviously." The woman said, her voice short and empty of any emotion.

Simon blinked in confusion. "Obviously what?" He asked, dumbfounded by her reply, and unable to think of a more fluent manner of speech.

"Obviously someone is here." Kaluwa said, peering strangely at the human as if he were suddenly foaming at the mouth. "That _is_ what you said is it not?" She asked, though the surety of her voice told him she already knew the answer and was asking more to be polite than anything.

"Yea, I guess…" Simon said softly, memories of their last conversation bubbling up to the surface of his thoughts. "Look, Kal, I-" His voice was quickly silenced by an upraised hand.

"Let the past lie still, Simon." She said, her voice sounding heavy with something not unlike sorrow. However, the human in question received no chance to ponder upon this before she turned and made to return the way she had approached. "Come. It is late." Kaluwa motioned for him to follow, thought she herself started forward before he had a chance to move.

"Wait, Kaluwa," Simon called, reaching out a hand as if he would grab her arm or hand though she stood too far for him to think of touching her. A bored expression covered her visage when she turned, he knew she was getting annoyed and he knew her patience was wearing thin, but he had to get these words off his chest. "Look, I know I was foolish, but I don't want my feelings to affect our friendship. Please, forget what I feel for you and I will try to do the same, because if I had to choose between losing my one sided love for you and losing the friendship we share, my choice is obvious." Simon smiled ruefully, rubbing at his upper arm absently. "Please? You are my dear friend, and I-"

Kaluwa then silenced him for the second time in the short span they had spent reunited, but this technique he far preferred over any other she had used in the past. The wolfess darted forward, closing the distance between them with nearly impossible speed, and threw her arms around his middle, her head resting lightly against his chest. Simon had no time to react before she pulled away again. "I too, would rather not lose such a friend…" She said softly, glancing back to the camp and tugging as his arm to get him to follow. The human grinned widely, knowing if not fully, then he was mostly forgiven.

"Thank you, Kaluwa." He said softly, taking her hand in his. Simon was glad when she didn't pull away, his joy so great that he didn't notice the way she tensed ever so slightly at the sound of her own name.

On their way back to the Frektane camp, she didn't pull her hand away once.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 11**

Kaluwa.

The name sounded both foreign and familiar to me now, evoking a strange sense of confusion the likes of which I had never experienced. Did I answer to that name? Of course I did, what other name was there? _"Karis…."_ The tiger's voice echoed in my mind as we traveled back to camp, my hand hot and sweaty in Simon's grasp. Karis? Who was Karis? Why did that name sound so..normal? As if that's what I was _meant_ to be called? Questions enveloped my mind, consuming my reality with their own; a realm of doubt and insecurity spreading through my being like wildfire. _Who am I?_ It was strange to wonder, but somehow I couldn't stop myself.

"Are you okay?" Simon's soft voice pulled me from my reverie like cold water, I had almost forgotten he was there. "You seem distracted…" I snorted at his embarrassment, shrugging without wasting a glance on him. Silence was my weapon and my shield at this point, I found I could not trust my own voice to speak properly. "You know you can always talk to me, about anything." Simon urged, yanking me to a halt by an abrupt tug on my arm. I whipped around to face him, the boy realizing his mistake as my hand came up for a strike, an action I instantly wished I could undo. My face fell and I looked away as a mask of fear flashed over his visage.

What was I doing? Turning on Simon because he was trying to _help_ me? I couldn't make sense of it. My world was spinning out of control and no matter how hard I fought, my grasp kept slipping. It was like chasing a deer and knowing you would never be fast enough to catch up. My heart sank at the thought.

"Kaluwa..?" Simon prompted, his voice even softer than before, a certain wariness tempering his words.

"I apologize." I turned, my feet dragging violently through the snow and creating deep ruts in the mushy substance as I hurried away from him. Simon followed, apparently unwilling to be separated from me again even though he would have no trouble finding the Frektane camp from where we were or where I had found him moments before. Then again, maybe he was simply that curious.

"So what happened earlier to make you look so worried?" Simon asked about a minute later, the glow of torch lights visible through the trees. He had hurried to pace me, his hand slipping back into mine as if some habit had been formed. The touch was comforting in a way I was unfamiliar with so I let it remain.

"There were men at the camp. Mistari." I replied casually as if such brawls happened every day. A chain reaction of memory occurred then, my mind flying from my run back to the camp to the fight I had attempted to end and finally ending on a frozen image of the man who had held me so tenderly. My heart jerked uncomfortably and my brow furrowed a bit. No. No, I could not let Simon see anything was wrong. I relaxed my tensed muscles and painted over any emotion showing on my face with the same apathetic expression I had grown so used to wearing.

"Mistari? Who are they?" Simon asked and I mentally smacked myself for thinking he would have any idea who she was talking about.

"They are the tigers." She replied, pulling the boy forward when he threatened to slow.

"Are they your allies?"

"Sometimes."

"How can they sometimes be an ally?"

"They are a neutral force and rarely - if ever - enter battle."

"So then are they your enemy?"

"Sometimes."

Simon was confused I could tell, but within a heartbeat everything had slipped from my mind. Everything save for the familiar shape silhouetted in the torch light. I froze, my body tensing and my eyes narrowing with distrust. Yanking Simon behind me so that I might better protect him, my body lowered slightly into a crouch, my hands curling into claws and a vicious snarl tugging at my lips.

"I wish you wouldn't make that face at me…"

His voice was honey sweet, every imperfection, every fluctuation in tone, pulling me closer and closer to his web. A web I knew to be worse than death. _That makes no sense…_ Reason grumbled in my head, and in all honesty it didn't. But something told me that this man could be dangerous; _was_ dangerous. Perhaps it was in the glint of his eyes, the pupils turned to slits in the near darkness. Or maybe it was in the way he stood, his muscled frame loose and yet somehow portraying the ever present threat of a napping feline. Everything about him screamed predator, and a primal fury made an unexplainable hate burn like fire in my belly.

The man frowned, his shoulders sagging as if a great weight had suddenly been placed upon his shoulders. "Yes, that face." He breathed, a forlorn shadow crossing his face as he shuffled off our path. "I was only worried about you.. I saw you rush off earlier and…" He shrugged, running a hand through his hair as his voice trailed away.

Suddenly, the Mistari man shoved his hand at me, expecting an attack I jerked away with a growl. "Kaluwa right?" He encouraged, quirking a brow but otherwise showing no reaction to the growl.

I starred at the hand like it would bite me, each wrinkle of his fingers and palm carefully memorized in the process. After a few seconds I looked back up at the man, no more welcoming than I had been before. Instead of shaking it, or calmly rejecting the gesture, I slapped his hand away, making the tiger stagger back in surprise. "I am no friend to you." I growled vehemently, towing Simon past him as I tromped into camp; head spinning, and heart racing as if I were being hunted. As if I were running in circles, with no way to break the pattern.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12**

Velyo was waiting for us when we made it back to the tent Simon was staying in, his eyes distant and cold. For a moment I felt as if I could be looking into a mirror, but then mirrors don't speak. "Kaluwa, we need to talk." His voice was like steel, a determination present that I was in no mood to deal with.

"Simon, go." I told the boy softly, pushing him toward the mouth of the tent. He hesitated, glancing back between myself and the wolf who faced me down single mindedly. "Go. I will see you soon." I promised, waving him on with a hand before giving my full attention to Velyo. "What do _you_ want?" I spat, venom dripping from each hissed syllable. I felt a gloating sense of pride bud when my voice seemed to catch him off guard, the male hesitating before he strode purposefully to me.

"I want to know what relationship you have created between yourself and the tiger!" Velyo snarled, his possessive nature burning through to the surface once again. Except I wasn't his to be possessive of.

"I have done nothing of creating or destroying relationships!" I growled back, tired of this game he was playing with my already ragged heart. I stomped past him intent on returning to the tent I was forced to share with him and sleeping off what remained of the night. He called after me, the sound of his voice making my heart ache and my head pound at the harsh noise. "Leave me be Velyo, your intentions have already been made clear and I have no patience for you and your toying right now." I snapped over my shoulder even as he pulled alongside me to match my pace easily.

"Stop acting so innocent you _bitch_! I know there is something between you and that Mistari male so tell me what it is dammit!" The wolf prince snarled, his hand suddenly closing around my wrist and his opposite arm wrapping around my throat to hold me in place. No, not hold me. The world flipped as I suddenly found myself beneath the muscled figure of the Frektane heir. My air came in wheezing gasps, one hand clawing at his palm wrapped tightly around my throat while the other pushed feebly at his knee which rested on my abdomen directly above my hips. The weight of his body suddenly shoved into my empty stomach already riddled with hunger pains was a brutal torture creating a hurt I couldn't have spoken through if I had wanted to. "_Now tell me what he is to you_..." Velyo commanded, his voice low and each word pronounced carefully as if he were trying to keep his voice from a growl.

His hand loosened slightly around my neck, just enough so that air could rush into my lungs making my head painfully dizzy. "I told you there is _nothing_ between us!" I choked out, my eyes watering and my throat scratchy. Why didn't he believe me? Why couldn't he understand? "Velyo-!" His hand suddenly clamped even tighter than before around my throat silencing my plea instantly.

"You're. _Lying_!"

Drops of spittle splattered against my face, I tried to turn away from him but he held me tight as he lowered his face to mine. The scent of alcohol was strong on his breath, the stench making my empty stomach roil with disgust. Velyo dug his knee harder into my middle, the pain making me gasp and claw at his hand more desperately. The drunken prince simply grabbed both of my hands within his single large paw and yanked them above my head where he pinned them to the ground. "Tell the truth little pup, or I'll just have to end you right here." He sneered, his voice cruel and unmerciful. "I really would hate to see such a beautiful woman go to waste. Why don't you just make this easy on both of us and tell me the truth." The sudden sticky sweetness of his voice sickened me, like the fetid scent of a fruit left to ripen far too long. I could tell he was lying. I could tell he had no intention of freeing me. In his drunken stupor he had transformed into an insatiable monster, and I in my current condition was no match for his violent strength.

Stars danced before my eyes, a hazy blackness expanding from the fringes of my vision inward as if to consume my entire sight. Would he kill me here? Was this truly my end? My hips bucked beneath him, my body squirming and writhing desperately as I tried to get away. Somewhere in the distance I heard Velyo laugh maliciously, and farther than that was a savage snarl. I whimpered, feeling the life draining slowly out of me, my body screaming for the air his iron grip denied me.

Finally my body lay still, the fight drained from me by lack of oxygen. I could almost feel my eyes glazing over and going glassy, the world was dark but I could not close them. I simply stared upward, unseeing, unfeeling. But that is not completely true. I could feel pain. A burning in my lungs like white hot lead had filled them, the same fire that spread down to my arms and legs. The pain in my stomach was a separate entity of its own; the gnawing ache of hunger coupled with the pressure of Velyo's knee made it feel like a wicked hand was tearing through my flesh and ransacking my organs with a savage bloodlust. I was dying. Surely this was the end of my existence.

"Get away from her, you bastard!"

The words echoed in my head as if yelled from far away, in truth, I hardly understood them; their meaning jumbled and lost in my drifting mind. But suddenly, a weight was lifted from me. A fraction of the pain faded away, and though the hurt did not completely disappear, I felt more alive. My body jerked as air rushed into my lungs, gasping and choking on the glorious sensation the oxygen filled me with. I flew into a high, my body uplifted as if gravity had lost its hold on me. _I guess this is death then…_ A small voice said in the back of my mind, and I surprised myself when I felt disappointed by this. I wanted to live, I wanted to survive. If I was gone, who would protect Simon?

_Simon!_ I forced my body to move, lethargic as it had become it obeyed my will and slowly I was able to roll onto my stomach. I coughed and spluttered, tasting blood in my mouth and assuming I had bitten my tongue or lip, but eventually I managed to drag my knees up beneath me. The noises of fighting were evident then. So someone had forced Velyo away from me? But who? _Simon!_ My mind wailed in mournful anguish. No! Not Simon! Not my precious Simon! He would never stand a chance against a wolf, especially not such a strong warrior as the Frektane prince! Velyo would slaughter him! _No! No, I will _not_ let that happen! _A voice cried out in pain along with the sound of something hard hitting flesh. A body crumpled to the ground with a thud, and my heart shattered. "_**Siiimoooooon**_!" My howl split the silent night with ravaging thoroughness, my voice comparable to a tormented wraith's shrieking wails. I felt my body fall, landing on my side, a spike of pain spearing through my shoulder which had not completely healed. Simon was dead. Velyo killed Simon. I had failed him. Simon was dead. My head spun, tears streaming down my face. My Simon, my precious, precious Simon.

A hate blossomed in my chest for Velyo, a hate stronger than any I had cultured before. I willed my body to move again, forced my muscled into action, but my strength had been taxed. No amount of will or desperation would move my frozen limbs, and so I laid there. My heart broken, and my body wracked with sobs. I didn't acknowledge the strong arms that wrapped around me, in my anguished state I found I didn't care what happened to me anymore. Velyo was strangely gentle as he hurried with me over the ground and to his tent, but I didn't notice this. All I knew and all I cared about was that Simon was gone. He would never again look at me with that innocent adoration, never again carve my likeness as a gift. Never again walk with his hand in mine as if it were the most normal thing in the world…

"Simon… Simon…" I moaned piteously, my legs swinging and my head dangling in empty space. My eyes were glued to the crumpled figure, unmoving and covered with shadow.

"Simon is safe, don't worry. Just be still and don't try to talk right now, okay?" Velyo said, his words making my heart leap. But he was lying of course because I had seen him, I had seen Simon laying there. He had killed him. He had taken my Simon away. The wolf prince repositioned me in his arms, not missing a stride as he pulled my upper half into a more upright position, my head now resting heavily against his bare chest. _When did he take his shirt off?_ My brain concluded that it had been torn away from him during the fight, and I was in no condition to try and reason out another answer. My eyelids felt heavy, slowly sliding down. I welcomed sleep, welcomed an escape from this world of sorrow.

"Hey stay awake, you have to stay awake. Stay with me, Karis. Stay with me."

My eyes flew open. Karis? Only one person called me that… "You?" My voice sounded frail and pathetic, a weakness that in any other situation would have made me sick. "But..why?"

The Mistari trader smiled down at me, an expression which probably hurt seeing as how it stretched at a torn lip. "Because I couldn't just leave you there. Not with him doing-" His voice hitched and he shook his head, looking ahead of him again as he continued to rush back to his people's encampment just outside of the Frektane tent line. I noticed a glint in his eye as we passed a cook fire with a few embers still glowing. _Tears..?_ Why would he have tears? Was he..crying? For me?

"Velyo?" I asked, my mind reeling.

"I don't know." The trader replied without looking down. "I hit him pretty hard, but I don't know if he's dead if that's what you are wanting to know. He didn't look too energetic when we left though."

I nodded against his chest, an action which almost felt as if I were nuzzling him. It was wildly abnormal when such a motion seemed to feel right, as if it made sense for me to be so intimate with him. He too seemed to think this as his arms tightened around me, holding me closer to his body. "Where is Simon?" I asked, still worried about my friend.

"He's at our camp, now just be quiet okay. I don't know how bad the damage is yet so just try not to use a lot of energy." The tiger replied, his voice thick.

I looked up, surprised to see him struggling to keep his emotions in check. "Are you okay?" I asked, surprising myself with the concern I felt for him all of a sudden.

The tiger choked out a laugh, an empty, mirthless sound. "I told you not to worry didn't I? Now just hush, and rest. I'll keep you and your friend safe."

My head nodded, or at least I think it did. I wasn't completely sure, time warped then and reality seemed to dance around me. I was aware of bobbing lights and voices, but their words made no sense. More hands tried to take me, but I don't remember the Mistari tiger letting me go. I felt myself being lowered at one point, something soft cradling me. A bed perhaps. Warm blankets were placed over me and someone's arms held me tight, a deep voice singing a haunting lullaby.

"The ash grove, how graceful, how plainly 'tis speaking…"

I lapsed out of consciousness, the tiger's arms shaking me to keep me awake. "Karis!" He whispered fiercely, cutting off in his song.

"I don't even know your name…" I breathed though I didn't open my eyes. I felt his body jerk beneath me as if my words had hurt him. This made me frown. I didn't want to hurt him, I didn't want him to ever feel pain. _Why? He means nothing to you._ A cruel voice scoffed in my mind. But a part of me felt this wasn't true. Reasonably, I shouldn't have felt this way, and yet here I was, wanting to protect a stranger when I couldn't even protect myself. Nevertheless, I wanted to make him happy, I wanted to make him smile. I forced my eyes open, searching for his face in the dim candlelight of what I took to be his tent. His hand came up to cradle my cheek and he tilted my head up to look at him, his eyes filled with tears which streamed freely down his face. A jab of pain flew through my heart, making my chest ache more so than it already did. I saw his mouth open, just as a familiar darkness dimmed my sight.

_No! No not now!_ I fought against the oblivion, but in the end I proved to weary to remain conscious any longer. Whatever he said fell upon deaf ears while my body went limp and my eyes slid closed as I fell into a deep, but plagued, slumber.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 13**

"_What do we do with her?"_

"_What _can_ we do with her? The Disa and Dio have already rejected her once, why would they accept her now?"_

_I sat, my small head in even smaller hands as my fate was discussed on the other side of the door. I felt tiny and insignificant knowing someone else would decide my life, someone else would tell me where and how to live or if I would even receive that privilege. My eyes were puffy from crying, and my back ached from sitting in the same chair for so long, but I would have gone through a thousand more days of that damned chair if I could have seen my father one last time. Thoughts of him welled up inside me. His deep booming laugh, the way he would pick me up and throw me into the air as if I weighed little more than a butterfly. The way he played chase with me all day long. My father had been kind and loving, but those people had taken them from me. Those people who I didn't even know the name of…_

"_Karis?"_

_I looked up at the sound of my name, the boy I had played with during trading the previous year standing shyly before me. His hair had gotten longer, the tips of it brushing at the tops of his shoulders when he turned his head, but he had the same lopsided grin and his eyes shone the same deep bronze as they usually did. My lips tried to smile, and for a moment I thought I would succeed, but suddenly my mouth opened in a mournful wail and I felt my world again falling apart. _

"_Oh, Karis. I'm so sorry. Do you want a piece of candy?" His voice sounded distraught as he moved to sit down beside me, holding out a piece of hard candy wrapped in a thin paper. I shook my hand at the offered treat, though my crying ebbed save for a few stray sniffles._

"_Would you be __**quiet**__!" A voice hissed. We looked up to see a man's head poked around the corner wearing a tall hat and elegant robes. His wrinkled face was made even more wrinkled by the angry sneer he wore on his face, a look directed at me though I couldn't for the life of me understand why. "Filthy mongrel.." He slammed the door as his head disappeared, moments later the discussion continued on the other side of the wall. _

_I ducked my head, wishing I could disappear. Wishing I could have my father back. Wishing for anything that popped into mind. I just wished, and briefly I was provided some happiness. "Do you wanna come to my house for dinner? My mother is making a stew." The boy asked making me look up at him, his silly grin bringing a small smile on my face as I gave a timid nod._

_Time passed quickly and it seemed as soon as I turned my head we were standing in the eating room of his family's home. The Mistari trader was there along with his wife, the boy, and his young sister who was barely teething. They welcomed me easily, everyone trying their hardest to make me feel at home. Honestly, it was the best I had felt in a long time. The food was tasty, seasoned well with the meat cooked just right and not too many vegetables. After the meal they put their youngest child to bed while the boy and I ran out to the fields to play. _

_We raced through the tall graces of their fertile fields, racing each other in whatever forms our bodies chose. Sometimes I would win, sometimes he would, but we would always laugh. We would always smile, and when we fell down panting and gasping for air, we fell down side by side. "Let's do this every day." I said, my words panted out._

"_Yea, every day forever and ever!" The Mistari child agreed, grinning over at me and laughing as if the look held some joke only he and I were allowed to take part in. But unlike reality, I couldn't laugh. There was a feeling deep in my gut that something had just turned horribly, horribly wrong. The fields were suddenly ablaze with reds and yellows as if caught with fire, yet no flames were visible as I sat up. "Karis, what's wrong?"_

_I was standing, one of the men who had been talking earlier that day walking through the field. He had more men with him, men wearing armor and weapons. I was afraid, my hand searching for the boy's and holding tight when I found it already reaching for my own. We stood there and waited for the men to reach us, neither of us knowing it would be the last time we saw each other. _

"_Let go." One of the men commanded, stretching his arms out and snatching me up around the middle. I kicked and squirmed in his grasp, crying out for my friend, but they held him too. I fought tooth and nail to be returned to the ground, but nothing I did seemed to faze the large man holding me. "No! Nooo!" I wailed, tears streaming down my face as I stretched out for my dear friend. He escaped his bonds then, running and catching my hand in his. He pulled in an attempt to free me from my bonds, but a child is no match for the strength of a warrior and he was easily tossed away. Again he tried to pull me free, and again he was knocked away. The third time he reached for me, the warrior back handed him across the face, splitting his eyebrow with a ring on the man's finger. My friend hit the ground hard, crying out in pain. I screamed in rage and fear, kicking harder. The tiger cub staggered to his feet, taking half a step before another warrior grabbed his arm and held him back. _

"_Karis!" He cried my name, reaching out to me with a hand yet unclaimed by the tiger brute holding him. "No please! Give her back, please! Kariiiis!"_

"_Dalek! Daleeek!" I screamed, my one last love brutally torn away from me by the rulers of a nation who didn't care._

I tossed and turned in my sleep, my arm flying out as if to steady myself, and smacking into something solid. The jarring of the impact broke me from my slumber and I bolted upright, reaching in front of me for a boy who wasn't there. "Dalek! Dalek!" I cried out, tears in my eyes and my voice thick with emotion.

"What? What's wrong?"

I gasped, jumping to the side and yelping when the abrupt movement sent a wave of pain through my abdomen. "What the hell are you doing here?" I snarled, partly frightened by his presence and embarrassed about my outburst.

The Mistari tiger groaned, falling back against mound of pillows that was his bed and rubbing a large palm down his face. "Ten seconds ago I was sleeping.. But then you yelled my name." He replied, his eyes already closing.

I scowled, slapping his bare stomach with an open hand. "I did no such thing." I hissed, fury coating my voice in venom.

Wincing, the tiger moved faster than I could react in my current condition, his hands grabbing my arms as he tackled me. Within a heartbeat I found myself pinned with a scowling man on top of me…again. My lips curled into a snarl. "Get. Off. Now." I ordered, fear and..something else making my heart race.

"No." He said simply, an arrogant smirk painting his face as he looked down at me. I knew he had won as much as he did, my head turning as I snorted in disgust. "At least not until you listen to me, and I mean actually listen." His voice was stern, much different from the pleading sorrow I was used to. "You know me Karis, and don't try to tell me that isn't your name when I _know_ it is. You know who I am, you know everything about me, if you would just remember…" There it was, the pain and sadness I associated with him. "I was there when you were young, when your pack was killed. You had dinner with me remember? And then they took you away. I tried for weeks to find you, my father went to every pack he could find to see if you were there. Karis _please_!"

I looked up at him, my eyes wide. _"Giver her back, please! Kariiis!"_ The words were like an echo from another life, my dream quickly fading from my mind. "You gave me candy…" I breathed silencing the man as he continued on in his 'you know me, you know me!'s. "You were there in the spring, when I was just a pup. We ran through the cooking tent and let all the chickens go for that night's meal." I gave a choking laugh, my eyes gazing through him as the memory I described played out in my mind. "Tessa was so angry, she made us catch all the chickens and then peel potatoes until our hands ached." I laughed again, tears streaming down the sides of my face and into the cushions beneath me. "Father was so mad, he came into the tent to lecture us and he slipped and-

"**Fell into a pile of potato peels!"** The tiger finished with me, his voice as excited as mine should have been. I smiled sadly at him, my bottom lip quivering as I tried to keep from crying any harder. "Karis?" He asked, his voice sharp and anxious as his hands moved to cup my face, one arm snaking behind my shoulders to pull me onto his lap and against his chest when he moved off of me. "Karis what's wrong? Tell me, Karis what is it?" He was scared, his heart hammering against his breast bone as if it would leap through his chest and into mine.

I was silent for a long time before I answered, my words spoken softly into his chest so that he had to ask me to repeat it so that he might hear correctly what I had said. "I missed you.." My eyes gazed into his own bright gems of polished bronze, flecks of red making it seem as if his eyes had been set on fire. I could sense his astonishment at my words. The words he had wanted to hear for so long, the words he had never expected to be told. "I missed you." I said again, this time stronger as my arms crept up around his neck to pull him close. His own embrace tightened, the warmth of his bare skin reaching an almost feverish degree. "I missed you for so long and I couldn't stand it anymore. I made myself forget everything. You, my father, I didn't want to miss you all anymore. Gods! Dalek, I've missed you so much!" My voice ended in a piteous cry, the tears I had been holding back flying free in sobs that wracked through my body in violent waves. The entire time, Dalek's arms held me tight, his cheek resting against the top of my head as he whispered how happy he was to have me back and how he would never leave my side again.

"I have so much to tell you!" He exclaimed happily, holding me far enough away that he could look at my face easily, but close enough that our bodies still touched. "Amatis found a mate! Can you believe it? My little sister all grown up! This autumn will mark their second year together, and we found out recently that she is carrying a child!" I smiled at the news, the simple sound of his voice bringing me joy. Most of what he said went unregistered in my mind, simply drifting through my head as bits and pieces of nonsense. He could have told me his whole family had died and I would have smiled and laughed with him all the same. I was untouchable by the world and its pains, just sitting there with my head resting comfortably against his chest, I felt invincible to the hardships of my past. Nothing mattered save for the fact that my Dalek had returned to me, my warrior had returned.

"Oh!" Both our heads turned at the noise, embarrassment the first reaction to our intruder, but cold fear immediately replacing it.

"Simon.." I whispered, fearing to speak any louder. The look on his face, such pure and horrible pain, making me certain that anything above the sound of butterfly's wing beat would send him shattering into nothingness. "Simon..?"

The boy in question shook his head, one hand going to his mouth as if he would be sick, and he rushed from the tent. "Simon!" I cried, breaking free of Dalek's arms to rush after my dear friend.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Bahahaha! Focus curve! Never guess who this chick iiiis ^_^**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

Ninara sat upon her throne with the languid grace of a feline. Her chin resting in the palm of her hand as the elbow of the same arm rested on the edge of a wide, thickly cushioned chair. She starred calmly across the throne room, the widely sprawling square of marble and jewel incrusted ornaments no longer leaving her with any feelings of awe or even the slightest tendrils of impressiveness. The young Dasi had become numb to her life of luxury and ease; caring little for the splendors of the palace and longing instead for the freedom her youth had offered.

For a brief moment, memories of running wild with her merchant cousins drifted through her mind. A simpler time when her life hadn't been consumed with mending her people's petty problems…

"… How am I supposed to feed my family if this, this..**buffoon **keeps stealing my chickens?"

The woman looked at the man with something like boredom, suppressing a sigh as she pondered the stated offense. "Have you ever actually seen this man steal your chickens?" Ninara asked calmly, years of practice enabling her with the skill to perfectly conceal the contempt she held for these people. Why couldn't_ her_ problems be so simple as a chicken?

Faltering, the man in question shook his head. An action that then received him the spiteful glare of the man he had accused. "Well.. Not exactly." The first man said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Ha! More like not at all!" The accused scoffed before turning to look at his Dasi. "Lady, I have done nothing to wrong this man. Honestly! If I have done anything to fault him let it be the love I have for his daughter."

Ninara quirked a brow, leaning forward slightly to show her interest in this turn of events. "Love? Gavin?" She asked with a coy smile, addressing the accused with a sort of playfulness she didn't often show. "My friends, I see no crime in young love."

"But… My, Dasi, I have – for some time now – wished a better life for my daughter than what I, a poor farmer, could offer her. Now, when a farmer's son wishes to marry her, I can't help but feel strongly that she should decline. Am I a bad father for wanting my daughter to be _happy_?"

Ninara leaned back in her chair as the farmer spoke, once again resting her chin in the palm of her hand. Deals like these were tricky, she had to be careful so as not to turn one man against her while ensuring another did not suffer. After all, the Dasi knew better than anyone the pain inflicted upon being torn away from the one you loved… "Tarrow, and Gavin, you first entered this chamber upon the plea of my hearing out accusations of thievery, now we find that the matter is perhaps much easier to solve." The tigress said, her voice suddenly stern with the iron ring of a ruler, of someone who did not expect to be questioned. Her almond shaped eyes then turned upon the farmer Tarrow, their brassy depths intricate with swirling gold. "You wish for your daughter to have a better life than you think you can give her, but is it for you or me or anyone to decide what is or isn't a good life for another?" She continued when the farmer said nothing, instead stumbling over words that wouldn't come to him. "Furthermore, if you want your daughter's life to be as happy as you say you do, then why would you try to keep her from the man she loves? Do you not think that love is the greatest happiness one could have?"

Tarrow bowed his head, appearing thoroughly chastised. Ninara then turned her head upon the younger of the two, the son of another farmer, Gavin. "And you," She smiled softly, her eyes gentling as her voice took on a kinder tone. "If you love this man's daughter, and I believe you do, then you will do well by that love and offer her your vows. Take care of her and do right by her and I believe your problems will take care of themselves."

Gavin smiled broadly, bowing deeply. "Thank you, Lady Ninara!" He called over his shoulder as he shuffled backwards then turned to hurry out the door.

Tarrow, on the other hand, seemed a bit more unready to accept that he had been wrong in the matter. "Dasi?" The woman quirked a brow, irritation masked by a look of curiosity and perhaps boredom. "Is this truly what is best for my daughter…?"

Ninara sighed heavily, standing as if her body were made of rippling fluid, her skirts shifting around her as if they held a life of their own. The Dasi stepped down the handful of steps separating her from the farmer and placed a gentle hand on the man's shoulder, feeling that the effects of her wisdom would be somewhat lessened seeing as how she was made to look up to meet his eyes. "You love your daughter more than anything in the world, correct?" He nodded and Nara forced away the echo of a child's laugh drifting through the back of her mind. "Then let her be with the one she loves. Nothing will ever make her happy the way that he can."

At that, the farmer gave a small, if not sad, smile and nodded, offering a bow before he too exited the room. Ninara watched him leave, staring at the twisting and twining design of vines, flowers, and leaves carved expertly into the heavy oak doors of the throne room. Her eyes remained glued on the arching doorway, left slightly ajar, long after the farmer had left her sight.

"Hoping to see something in particular?" A familiar voice teased from somewhere behind her.

Ninara turned, almond eyes instantly finding the angular face of her mate, her Dio. "Carn." She addressed the man fondly, moving toward him even as he did the same. His arms opened and the Disa easily stepped into them, finding their warmth comforting and reassuring. Such feelings didn't last. "Where have you been all day?" The tigress asked, pulling back to look at the man accusingly. "I had to sit through an entire afternoon of complaints and tax reports while you were off with your nose stuck in the roots of some tree no doubt."

Carn smiled ruefully, taking his arms from around her to raise his hands in a surrendering gesture. "Alright, you've caught me." He said laughing and taking his face in his hands to rest his forehead against her own. "But would it help if I said I was thinking of you the entire time?"

Ninara rolled her eyes, waving away his affection as easily as if she would a fly. "It doesn't matter if you were thinking about me for only a fraction of the time. This is the second time that it's happened this week, I can't rule on my own you know. I need you to help me…" Her voice drifted off and she turned away with a sigh, recognizing this as a one sided argument. It had been almost sixteen years since she had taken Carn as her mate, and in the time since he had proven only a small number of times to show his face at any political event. Even something as small as hearing the problems of their people fell beneath studying his plants. Sure he had done much to improve the output of their agricultural production, but when it came to anything inside the palace, you could count him out. Usually, Ninara was fine on her own and was proud of herself for being so capable without having to rely on the help of a man, but sometimes she tired of working alone and wished she could be able to count on her Dio for more than just pretty flowers.

"I'm sorry, Ninara." He said lowly, sounding thoroughly chastised. The woman turned when she didn't feel his arms close around her as they usually did. Carn offered a small smile when he saw this and beckoned for her to come near, Nara did so without hesitation and threw herself against his chest eagerly. "Are you tired now?" She shook her head at his question, looking up when she heard his heartbeat jump in his chest. A mischievous smirk tugged at his lips, making the sharp angles of his face appear even more jagged. "Then, my dear love, I have a complaint of my own to tell you."

Ninara gave a sharp yelp which turned into a laugh as he suddenly grasped her hand and towed her after him as he headed for their chambers.

* * *

Ninara laid in bed awake sometime later, staring blankly at the canopy of the bed she shared with her mate. A bed now wrinkled and disturbed from their previous engagements. A thin sheen of sweat shone in the hollow of her throat and across her chest, her body left sensitive and aching from her Dio's rough love making. The same Dio who currently lay sleeping, curled away from her with a stupid look of contentment covering his sharp face.

The night was quiet, only the slight rustling of silk on silk as the gentle breeze gave life to the curtains over the exit to the balcony. There was peace in the silence, the fingers of war unable to reach across the lands and stab into her realm. Still, her people always managed to find something new to complain about. It had been a long day, full of heated discussions and unfinished business. It seemed when it came to the problems of the people, everyone had something to say, but when it came to the problems of the Disa, the gods knew there was no one in sight.

Ninara frowned, squeezing her eyes shut only to open them again. Her body was restless, each muscle clenched and ready for action rather than ready for sleep. The Dasi growled, finally kicking the blankets from around her ankles and calves to roll sluggishly off the mattress. Her feet prickled uncomfortably as they met the cold surface of the marble that made up her floor, but she ignored the discomfort and continued on to the balcony. Her skin felt feverish at the warmth of the night, another factor which she gave little notice to, even as the wind caressed her milky flesh through the thin fabric of her night shift – like the ghostly memory of a lover's tender touch.

The tigress shuddered, wrapping her arms tight around her stomach as she squatted down, keeping her knees together as she did so and balancing on the balls of her feet. She bowed her head, closing her eyes and squeezing back tears. Her heart ached, more painfully than her womanhood. The longing Nara felt for him was- _No. I cannot allow myself to think of him now. Not after how long it has been…_ The woman thought sorrowfully, quickly pulling herself together and standing with a ragged sigh. _Besides, it isn't fair to Carn..._ She leaned against the banister, breathing the night air in with relish.

"You look tired."

Ninara went frigid at the voice, a flood of memories playing out before her eyes. A flash of steel and the sudden impact of an arrow. A kind face looming above her. A gentle touch. The flaring heat of a stolen kiss. The promises of love. The keeping of those promises. A farewell that had torn her world apart… No. That voice had long been gone from her world, and yet..she couldn't help the hope from leaping into life in her heart. The Dasi turned, the age on her face replaced with girlish fancy.

Nothing. Not even the whisper of a person lingered in the entryway to her chambers. She was completely alone.

"Over here."

Ninara whipped about the way she had faced, gasping in shock when she saw the stern face of a man who had long been dead. The woman screamed – half out of fear, half out of joy – and bolted upright in bed.

_What? How did I get back here?_

"Ninara? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Carn asked, seeming to snap into wakefulness and move instantly to his mate's aid. His voice was thick with concern, and his hands explored her limbs with medical interest. "Why did you scream? Was it a bad dream?" His arm wrapped around her shoulder, pulling the suddenly frail creature against his chest as if she were a small child rather than a proud ruler. His opposite hand lifted to cradle her cheek and turn her face upward to look at him. "It's all okay now, I'm here." He smiled and pulled her head against his shoulder so that he cradled her awkwardly.

Ninara allowed him to control her body as if she were a puppet of some sort, her mind numb to all but the anguish she felt. He had been so close, as if she could have simply reached out and touched him. And he had looked so…_disappointed_. Perhaps it was that fact alone which had evoked such an emotional reaction from the usually controlled woman. Or maybe it was that she was now in the arms of her mate, when she wished more than anything she could be across the mountains that created the border of her lands in the arms of a man she had loved for a short time.

_But he's gone now. Even if I went back, there would be nothing for me…_ Nara thought somberly, her eyes closing.

"It's okay now. It's all going to be just fine. I'm here, and nothing will ever hurt you."

Carn's cooed voice did nothing to soothe her, rather it served as a constant reminder that the arms that held her then were not the arms she longed for so dearly. This man was not _him_, and that hurt worse than anything Carn had ever done. Slowly, as cold reality settled over the Dasi, silent tears began to stream down her cheeks and stain the sheets below with a dark wetness.


End file.
